Shaking all over

Well our bit of excitement and in some cases hysteria for the week today, as a reasonably strong quake struck just off the coast of Iran.

The Weasel office got quite a rocking with most people just looking around wondering what the hell was going on, you can see why people often never seen to get under cover or out of buidings, it is more confusing in the early stages than scarey.

After weeks of the local papers stating that there will never be earthquakes in the UAE it comes as a reminder that buildings here have to be built to the second highest earthquake protection for a reason.

Another possibility however does not seem to be getting much attention, if this quake had been further offshore surely there is a possibility of a tsunami?
Now I know that the T things are created by specific plate action, usually an upshift under water, and to be honest I have no idea what type of fault lies off Iran, all this will com to light eventually, however one place I wouldn't want to be when the wave comes is a low lying artificial island offshore. Just a thought

On the road

One possible way of controlling traffic numbers and freeing up roads (presumably for land cruisers) is being explored in Kuwait and creating a stir in the UAE.
And this brilliant plan?

Banning all low paid expats from driving and restricting licenses to those with degrees.

Couple of obvious flaws, who is going to do the driving jobs? I doubt any company in the UAE wants to pay more than 5k the qualification level.
Drivers with degrees, possible but not really a viable option.

See while the ancient Sunnymen with the wrecks are a pain in the ass they, in the end, are far less dangerous than the idiot in the land cruiser doing 225 on the hard shoulder or weaving all through traffic flashing lights as if that will ward off the inevitable crash.

Lane discipline is vital and to be honest unheard of here and the sooner people realise that an indicator is not a force field the better. And as for the tossers who feel that driving with fog lamps front and rear is making their piece of crap look cool, well guess what? It doesn't.

But you cannot control this type of driving without effective police patrols on the roads, and to be effective it has to be visible and people have to be seen to be pulled over, all people, that of course is where the problems lie.

On a more positive front my personal vendetta against taxi drivers who pull out in front of me is running at Weasel 3 (2.5 really but who is counting) Taxis 0.5 .

Why taxis, well much as I feel sorry for some their driving really is totally crap and I have twice had huge skidding stops to avoid a major accident. They are identifiable and apparently the company do take complaints seriously, it is a small step but since there is so little effective policing on our roads it is a start.

So Mr Taxi driver next time you try to kill the Weasel expect a phone call


Well the time has arrived to leave (be thrown out of) our quiet little existence in sunny Jumeriah and set off into the sand to set up in The Arabian Desert, sorry Ranches.

This means I will be offline for a couple of weeks, possibly more since there are a couple of important dates coming up.

Rugby - gratuitous beer drinking while pretending to watch sport, spending an entire day in the sun while slowly getting wasted before queuing for hours for a taxi (who upon recognising the Weasel drives off into the sunset).

A1 GP - gratuitous beer drinking while pretending to watch sport, spending an entire day in the sun while slowly getting wasted before queuing for hours for a taxi (who upon recognising the Weasel drives off into the sunset) .

It's just one thing after another .

At least national day gives the Weasel a day of recovery this Saturday, so happy national day to one and all.

BRB

Air show mayhem

Sometimes Dubai does it so well, but at the last moment manages to totally screw up and leave people thinking the place is a shambles.

Take today, a great airshow, well attended with a good cross section of totally the right kind of people , I must have heard every language on earth at some time or other.

The displays were good, even the boring interior stuff was good, the aircraft were much more accessible than the big shows in Europe and the US .

At the end of the day, in fact just after a great show from the A380, the weasel started to wander home and this is where all the effort fell totally off the rails.

The idea is good, remove the delegates from the crush outside the show to a manageable space near the end of the runway by bus, where fleets of taxis will be waiting.

It all works up to the taxi bit, not only were the not fleets waiting, there weren't any waiting and only 1 every 2 or 3 mins coming in.

Busses arrived every minute bringing people in and nobody left, at one stage the queue must have been 5 or 600 yards long and 3-4 deep, do the maths that is well over a thousand delegates of an industry that Dubai in some ways depends on, left standing in a car park near Mirdiff.

I stood in the queue for 1 hour 40 mins, it was just as long when I left as when I arrived.

When we got in the cab we asked the guy what happened?

It turns out none of the cabs knew where to go, he had been trying to find the place almost as long as I had been standing in the queue.

So several thousands of delegates have now left wondering if this place will ever be able to work out it's arse from it's elbow.

Quel surprise

Big Bertha

Flypast of the A380 today all shot from the JBH hotel and the beach.
It really is a magnificent aircraft and they do seem to have managed to get it quiet(ish) which should be a bonus for those living in Mirdiff

Couple of links

Quicktime file(4mb)

Windows file (7mb)

Hope to get the footage shot from the chase plane tomorrow

Street Style

Not sure what is in the offing but the Gulf news has run strange article on the street prostitution scene in Dubai.

This is one of the things that people find strangest about Dubai, most westerners find it bizarre that such a highly visible trade is carried out in broad daylight.
And it is blatant, this pic was taken from the window of the old Weasel Apt, there are 6 girls working this street at 3pm.

Now I have often thought that a little street life was a sign of a growing up city but several years of living in East Berlin by the sea (Golden sands area) showed that it can be a total pain.

But what the article fails to mention is that it isn't so much the girls that are the issue but the creepy customers who kerb crawl 24 hours a day harassing any woman foolish enough to be on the streets.

In this male dominated city there probably is a case for allowing some pros to work but they seriously should take them off the streets especially in residential areas.

Surely it can't be that hard, a couple of plain clothes cop cars, you could use white landcruisers with blacked windows (the most common crawling car) , would clear this lot in a day but for years this does not appear to have been a priority.

Out of house and home

The Weasel is about to be homeless and in a frantic search for a den has rashly decided that buying is the least evil of the accommodation rips that is modern Dubai.
As reported by Secret Dubai this week this is a high risk strategy but to be honest it does appear to be a the best of a bad lot.

This process has brought him into contact with that most slippery species the Dubai Estate agent, these fellow weasels vary from bored Jumeriah Janes, ambitious ISC women, professionals bussed in from the UK and Australia and total chancers running their entire business from a clipboard and a Nissan sunny.

What all have in common is a total lack of any control or licensing, not even a voluntarily code. They are all driving their Cayans and Range Rovers but delivering nothing in the way of service and less than zero confidence.

The most unsettling fact is that none of them have is any idea whether the house they are selling is a set price or even actually for sale. Since all valuations are paid by buyers they frankly don't care that the house is in fact not for sale and the owner just wanted a free valuation.

Owners who are totally in this for the speculation are blatantly hiking prices the moment they sniff a possible sale ably assisted by the estate weasels who despite being paid by the buyer actually work for the seller.

Add to this the Nakeel Emarr transfers along with valuations that claim the houses are grossly overpriced and none of it inspires confidence.

But what is the alternative, rent that has risen by 150 % in 2 years and shows no sign of stopping, landlords that can evict any time they want and house maintenance that is patchy or none existent.

We really are caught between a rock and a hard place in this little boom town on the edge of the desert.

Play for the day. Stop Thief

This is a pet hate, I will relate the latest example but to be honest these conversations occur fairly regularly, are all pretty similar and have a degree of inevitability about them.

Scene 1

It is a busy morning in the City Centre shopping metropolis, around the first of the month.

We see a small furry creature (for tis he, the Desert Weasel) scampering along carrying the fruits of his morning's labours. A number of brightly coloured, branded bags are in one hand, in the other he clutches a still smoldering gold card.

Scene 2

Our hero approaches another store where stands a lonesome security guard.

The Weasel: [walking past]
Lovely day

Security guard:
Bag

The Weasel: [stops and turns]
Eh?

Security guard:
Bag bag you no go with bag

The Weasel:
Why?

Security guard:
Policy

The Weasel:
So let's get this straight, you see me here I clearly want to spend money, but you want to stop me, make me stand in a queue and take all my valuable purchases off me just so I can go into the store, ......Because?.......because?

Security guard:[much head shaking]
Policy security policy

The Weasel:
Let me help you here.......Because........You think that if you let me in I will stuff half your crappy store into my Prada bags and leg it without paying.... right?

In other words you are calling me a thief?

Security guard:
No Sir

The Weasel:
Well that's fine then, I'm glad we settled that [walks on] I will now enjoy your fine store

Security guard:[chasing and grabbing bags]
Bag, bag, no bag

[A tussle ensues, other guards approach]

scene 3

The outside of the store, we see the Weasel being manhandled out into the mall by two security guards

The Weasel:
Bast**ds!!!!!!!! Get your bloody hand's off me [the guards drop him]

[he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small book, we see it is full of shop names, he writes the store's details in]

See this? You're in trouble now, I'm never coming to your crappy store again and neither are my friends...

[Shuffles away no longer scampering while the guards laugh.]

the end

To be honest I first came across this policy in Australia in the early eighties, I couldn't believe it then and it still hasn't got any more palatable. Too many people don't think or don't care about the insinuation the store makes each time they force you to queue up and hand over your bags.

Apart from anything else calling your most likely to buy customers thieves is hardly likely to ingratiate them to you.

Incidentally it didn't work there then and doesn't work here now, the losses from CC and other malls are still substantial and the gangs that work the stores have always taken more than the odd opportunity thief with a store bag.


The good news however is that with the explosion of retail in Dubai this, and other service faux pas, will have to change. With more stores chasing a more sophisticated and less tolerant market, little things, like not insulting your customers will come to matter.

Off to the local Choitrams, about the only store not on the list.
DW

Bar Review 3

Buddha Bar in the Grosvenor hotel at the Marina.
Seriously upmarket establishment this, beautifully decorated and achingly fashionable, even early on the place was packed with some fantastic, 2 figure numberplated, ironware parked outside.

Service a little snooty but ok and prices not too ridiculous, clientele was interesting with a much higher percentage of local chaps and chapesses than normal.

Drinks were fine and we didn't eat but the food looked great. However, on the downside, all this effort was spoiled by truly atrocious music. The Weasel had waited for Eid to try the place simply to make sure it was seen at its best, and music is one of the USPs for all Buddha bars.
So why was he subjected to dirge after dirge that had him crying into his G&T and eventually drove him from the place, seriously one of the worst sets ever heard.

It probably needs a second try to see if this was a one off but a course of prozac may be a sensible precaution before visiting again.

Petrol pump attendants

In an amazing glimpse into employee relations in the city of Dubai, Emarat one of the biggest gas station chains openly admits to strip searching employees to make sure they are not keeping any tips.

With a truly spectacular display of a total lack of understanding of even basic PR, the spokesman said,

" 'Body search is part of the procedure and we will continue to do it. However, a supervisor should ask the staff to take off all his clothes only if he is sure that the staff is guilty' said Abdulla Al Noman, the retail sales operations manager at Emarat"

So that makes them judge, jury and stripper all in one, wonder what the qualifications are for that cushy little number?

I have no idea what the attendants wages are but I doubt it will be more than a thousand dhs a month so I regularly tip for good service, cheerful demeanor, windscreen cleaning and even for not spilling gas all over the weasel mobile (unfortunately a regular occurrence).

Why not? It spreads a little wealth and helps ensure better service next time.

"It's to protect the customer" say Emarat, well I fail to see how that washes myself, all the pumps are marked and we can all see what the figures are.

Interestingly no-one is saying what happens to the tips that are found or given, are they hidden by the staff or confiscated by the company? Anyone know?

Either way in a small act of defiance I will be boycotting the Emarat chain and watching to see what new job the spokesman ends up with.

Ramadan is over

Well I survived, must have seen 20 accidents or the results of accidents plus some of the worst driving in the world but both car and owner made it through. Hopefully work will settle now as well with people being contactable and less temperamental.

Today's little rant is on parking, or rather the total lack of it in this town.

Now in Dubai there is not really a choice of transport. While taxis are ok they quickly get expensive and one glance at the busses will convince most people to reach for the car keys. Cars are it for all practical purposes and one of the rules of a society that moves by car is that it has to park at both ends of the journey.

However parking spaces are expensive and with a building code that is very loose when it comes to parking provision we are left with some horrendous situations that are steadily getting worse.
While the railway may help eventually by then the situation will have descended into chaos.

One prime example is Internet/media city with cars parked on every square foot of ground and only paid valet parking available for visiting clients. What were they (DIC DMC) thinking, how did they expect people to get to work, teleporting? Considering the rents and charges the place has I'm surprised there hasn't been an uprising against the DMC goons.

And next in a spectacular series of parking cockups will be the Jumeriah beach reservation, 75000 occupants - 35000 spaces expect every road for miles around to be jammed with parked cars. Every household in Dubai that can afford a JBR flat will have 2 cars a fact that even Dubai builders are very well aware of, so that will be down to greed and a lack of accountability again then, sometimes feels that this is pretty much the story of the city .

Off to the pub for an afternoon pint, why? Because I can

Cheers DW

Trick or treatment?

Now personally I prefer my spirits in a glass but in a bizarre story in Emirates Today it seems that some UAE practitioners are seriously treating the mentally ill by casting out demons.
Now call me a radical modernist but didn't this "treatment" go out with the middle ages?

Now I agree that the western way of treating the mentally ill is not always successful but it is at least generally based in scientific understanding at the time, and surely has a better chance than blaming imaginary fiends.

It is very easy to look at Dubai and see a first world city, the truth is that very close to the surface is a tribal society still believing and practicing the old ways......I wonder how this will sit with healthcare city?