Them bad streets of Dubai

Interesting little ditty in today's Khaleej Times caught the Weasel's eye this morning.

Thefts rise in summer time By a staff reporter 31 July 2007
DUBAI — Thefts, brawls and assaults are the most common of crimes reported during the summer months, suggest the findings of a survey recently conducted by the Dubai Public Prosecution.
Robberies were the most frequent with 40 per cent of cases registered, followed by assaults and fights which accounted for 16 per cent, and financial fraud forming 13 per cent of all reported crimes. According to a top public prosecution official.

Now it is rare to get stats like this thrown out, sure individual crimes are eagerly reported in the 1950s schoolboy prose the KT is so fond of, but we usually don't get to hear the real stats and what the trends are.

Now we only need the actual figures to determine whether Dubai is as safe as the municipality make out. More interesting is speculating as to the why of these increases, after all the town is almost empty, who hangs around in the street in August waiting to get robbed? Or possibly it is that empty houses are targets but then that should be burglary.

Ah summer, the Weasel loves nothing better than to while away the day speculating on pointless questions. What do you mean get back to work...............

Cartel capers

Even the Weasel is occasionally amazed by the level of blatant price fixing that is all too common in this market. Today on the Dubai eye business breakfast we had the rare treat of listening to one of the local managers justifying the setting up of a cartel to run remittance exchanges, listen here 23rd July .

What really tickles the Weasel is the fact that Mr Joseph Ponnou not only is stupid enough to announce this to all his potential customers but can't seem to realise that this may be a foolish move. In a move that would land him straight in court in the US or EU he blithely witters on that the formation of the cartel is in the consumers best interest, while opening the subject by explaining that it has been set up to ensure prices are as high as possible and no-one undercuts the members of this chummy club.

The only way to combat the runaway inflation we are all experiencing is to allow free competition, eventually prices will find their correct level. Much as the Weasel enjoys the low price of fuel and the attempt at a rent cap, in the end they simply distort the market and all pay the price.

The awarding of import licences to single companies and the set-up of blatant price cartels keeps us beholden to conglomerates that simply print money on the back of UAE consumers.

And that's everyone not just expats.

Big shoes to fill

Back after a brief sojourn to Ibiza and consequential psychotic episode, every year the Weasel wonders if this is the last year of behaving badly, but then the combined effects of an entire year in the desert conspire to make the occasional blowout feel like a vital safety valve.

Well that's his excuse and he's sticking to it.....

Ironically the earth-aid feel good concert was happening as the Weasel flew overhead on his long weekend away, for one of such diminutive stature the Weasel's carbon footprint is bloody huge. Flying to Ibiza for the weekend does not seem outrageous, this behavior is of course hardly unique in Dubai.

We superchill our offices, deep freeze our houses, take showers in desalinated water, drive our big ol cars and fly 3 times a year (or more in the Weasels case), it's a good job he's unconvinced of the CO2 argument.

Seriously though if this is ever proved beyond the current hysteria the life styles here of much of the population would have to drastically change to meet any global norms, more use of solar would make so much sense along with building for the climate not the perceived tastes of a European housing market.

We await developments.

London

Today finds the Weasel scampering around his old haunts in London, it is wet, cold and you can't smoke in the pubs.
Tonight off to the white isle for a couple of days, while in Wembley tomorrow tens of thoussands of people will gather to protest about climate change (oh, and listen to a huge rock concert).

Climate change awareness has not really arrived in Dubai, we all know we live in an environment that is only survivable with huge amounts of ac, desalinated water, V8 motors and regular trips away (Weasel endurance limit is 3 months).

What is a little shocking was when last night the Weasel was asked incredulously "don't you feel guilty?"

err no?

Cue tut tutting and storming off - the Weasel may need to prepare a response to this question that doesn't involve flying from Dubai to London to Spain and back again for a party.....

Open season on Dubai banks?

In a move the Weasel finds hard to comprehend the DFSA appears to have declined to investigate a reputed attempted fraud of $5 bn.

why?

Because it was targeted against an institution not an individual, leaving aside the bloody obvious that a bank's money belongs to individuals who most certainly would have suffered should this scam have worked, what were they thinking?

Does this mean if the Weasel wanders into, lets say Dewa or any other "big institution" and for instance bounces a cheque for his water bill that he will be let off scot free....... nope, he doesn't think so either.

The jails in this town are full of people charged with fraud for bouncing a cheque, so perhaps the story here isn't, why not?

but who can't be investigated?

And this is personal, although called lloyds TSB it isn't a direct branch of the bank and it is probably likely that a loss of this size would have folded the institution, taking the Weasels 2dhs of savings with it. The lack of action cannot do anything to inspire confidence in any financial institution in Dubai

From the Toady today.

The United Kingdom-based banking and insurance group Lloyds TSB Bank, operating from Dubai International Financial Centre (DIFC), has left it to the regulators, the Dubai Financial Services Authority (DFSA), to investigate the $5 billion (Dh18.35bn) financial fraud targeted at the bank.

Media reports had said Lloyds TSB Bank in Dubai had been targeted by fraudsters who tried to raise a credit facility of up to $5bn (Dh18.35bn), in one of the largest attempted financial frauds in the region in recent times.

The regulators said individuals representing two fictitious organisations – Heritage Private Bank of the UK and the Genesis Foundation of Hong Kong – failed in their attempt to use false guarantee documents from five banks, including UBS, the US Federal Reserve and Citibank in Singapore, in a bid to raise funds for an alleged real estate project in Abu Dhabi, the Financial Times reported.

Lloyds TSB’s private banking arm, located in the DIFC, had said in early May it provided information about the use of fraudulent documents to the DFSA.

“Lloyds TSB International Private Banking takes its obligations to combat financial crime extremely seriously and reported an attempted use of fraudulent documents to the DFSA in the appropriate way in early May. This is now a matter for the regulator and we will co-operate fully with any investigation they undertake,” the bank’s spokesperson said in a statement.

Quoting DFSA’s managing director for policy and legal services, Ian Johnston, the Financial Times said after carrying out an investigation the regulator had decided not to pursue injunctions against the individuals involved, as the scam had targeted authorised companies rather than members of the public.

The official pointed out that the fraud attempt, while substantial, was unsophisticated and unlikely to have duped the vetting procedures of authorised companies.

Hipocrates must be spinning in his grave.

The Weasel had been watching the events in the UK this week unfolding with a kind of detachment, from a professional mode it has been a pain in the arse, but really it is clear the would be firestarters were a bunch of incompetent twats and that was really that, ho hum life goes on.

However the news today that two of these idiots are doctors has left him stunned and appalled. The only hope is that the doctors (real ones: that is) treating the crispy dickhead at his old hospital will forget to use anesthetic, but the truth is they probably will follow their hipocratic oath .

How two people who have seriously taken this oath could then attempt to perpetrate the mass killing (by burning or impaling with nails) of people whose crime was to try to jet off to sunny Spain, is beyond comprehension.

The only good news is that they are so crap at setting off a bomb that the Weasel doubts they were ever any good as doctors, so the world will be better off without them. Rot in jail fuckwits see you in 25 years time.

Entirely predictable x 2

So there is the Weasel emerging from the gates of the empty quarter that is Arabian Ranches to find a 3 mile tail back stretching down the Emirates rd, by 8:30 the entire place was gridlocked.

Even though the Weasel dutifully bought the silly salik card 2 weeks ago all it means to him is another 20mins each way on the commute (and that is only because he has an early start) despite never going anywhere near SZR or Garhoud.

Cheers you dicks. And can I have the 40mins a day you are stealing back please.

On another joyous note the estate robbers responsible for selling the Weasel a never ending story in the form of a building construction were today (their promised, much revised completion date) questioned about a likely moving in day, the response? "We are sending you a letter" "Really? That's great, what's in it?" "We can't tell you."

So that'll be good news then..............

One day the Weasel would love to think these cowboys will have to take at least some responsibility for their actions, but until then Dubai remains full of crooked, incompetent liars going by the name of estate agents and developers.