The Desert Weasel

JBR and the man

2009-04-14T19:28:00.002+04:00

The police are back at the jumeriah beach projects tonight, no idea why but after the events of the last couple of weeks who can tell.
It is a fact though that if you accept buckets of dirty money from all over the world then eventually the owners of that money will come to enjoy the fruits of their cash.

And bring their baggage with them...

What a difference a year makes

2009-04-13T20:47:00.004+04:00

What a difference a year makes eh?

The Weasel has been lurking on Twitter lately, it is so much simpler to post 140 characters than try to think up a whole post.

Dubai feels a different place for sure, gone is the old brashness to be replaced by a slightly paranoid fear of persecution that is pushing all types of responses to real or perceived slights.

That it is the British press, previous fawning darlings of the place that have turned on their old benefactor is not at all surprising to anyone except Dubai, which seems a bit shell shocked by the whole affair. The amateur and indignant responses so far have only made the pursuing pack bay more, a vicious circle that can be hard to get out of.

Very different when the press were swooning over Dubai (and their real estate advertising) it was all jolly hockey-sticks of course, now wasn't there some proverb about those that lie with lions?

The way to kill all the rumours is of course to have freely available information that people can trust, unfortunately that so often does not seem an option to Dubai or Dubai businesses. And in a vacuum the clammer rush in to fill the space.

Not all doom and gloom, recently the Weasel wandered along to the wildly popular Marina Yacht Club for a beer only to be appalled by the 50 people queuing to get in, leaving in a hurry the only option.
So there is life but also telling that it is a local place with a generous happy hour that gets the business, lots of lessons to be gleaned by Dubai businesses from that.

Classic comment from local shop operative that left the Weasel spluttering with incredulity,

"Yes sir prices have gone up"

Why?

"Customers few sir, so need to charge more"

It is scary how the little some in the "City of Merchants" actually understand commerce.

Christmas in the Emirates

2007-12-25T11:04:00.000+04:00

The Weasel is a little out of sorts at the moment, stranded in a friends vacant house for Christmas and waiting for Dubai Municipality, Du and Dewa for the new place.
Could be here for a while then.............

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside

2007-12-24T07:53:00.000+04:00

The Weasel has hopefully made his last house move in Dubai, the 3rd in 4 years, it gets more stressful every time though the opportunity to clear out the accumulated rubbish of 2 years is welcome.

Moving away from the empty quarter and back to the sea is the best part of this latest flit, the opportunity to finally kiss the Ranches goodbye is a day to be savoured.
Of all the developments in "New Dubai" the Ranches is, for this Weasel, easily the worst.

The issues surrounding this development and Al Reem 1 in particular are legion but we can list a few here:

Access, this is the greatest bugbear and one that on its own drove the Weasel from the Ranches. In Reem 1 heading for Mall of the Emirates the main gate is a congested 7km, 20 speed bumps, and a constuction traffic jam from the exit, heading toward Silicone Oasis the Weasel could drive for almost 6 Km to arrive back within in a few yards of his den, but now on Emirates road. On the original models and plans for the development there was a Reem 1 exit, that, like so much of Emarr's hype was an empty promise.
The Reem 1 houses are actually crap, dark and miserable inside, the number of serious cracks in the plaster would worry this Weasel if he had bought one (though to be fair they were cheap when launched- just don't buy one now...). Reem 2 and 3 are a bit better with an improved design including a garage roof that actually keeps the elements off the car, though residents are still not allowed to put doors on their own garages.
The enfored community spirit trumpted by a few busybodies who voted themselves onto the Commitee is laughable, it's a housing estate NOT a "community" and the sooner you silly people realise that, the better. Their private website lists calamity after calamity in the most hysterical fashion, the latest is, - shock horror - parking on the road outside your own house. On serious issues such as access and the woeful supermarket they have proved to be utterly toothless.
Speed limits, the "community" is covered by a blanket 40kmph speed limit, this is the favourite bugbear of the commitee, with daily rants against "lunatic drivers". However what they fail to address is that the access roads are just that, access roads, and trying to enforce a ridiculously slow speed limit will result in it being ingnored. So Emarr in order to enforce the unenforceable have installed hundreds of speed bumps around every junction that quickly result in suspension damage to cars and congestion as traffic queues up to crawl over the bumps. This in turn results in drivers overtaking around slow cars at the speed bumps, and exiting vehicles chancing their luck to force themselves into the traffic, in turn making the junctions more dangerous, not safer.
Shopping, not normally a Weasel worry but the standard of supermarket in particular at the Ranches is appalling, Le Marche, a well known chain in France has been imposed on the development by Emarr. Their imposition of their own personal dogma on the residents (no pork), and crap out of date food would be fine if there was a choice, but there isn't (see access above) so you are stuck with it - for 10 years...
Distance, can't really complain about this since they havn't moved since the Weasel set up house there but seriously the distance and time to get to anywhere remotely interesting is tiresome and expensive. The famous interchange that was to solve all access problems was due to be completed in 370 days......18 months ago.......and it is barely half finished, it still takes up to an hour to do the journey from media city.
The lake......this was a glorious lake in the middle of the development, quite pretty really and houses overlooking it were sold at 25% premium, all well and good, until Emarr drained it and started building on the lake bed, guess the space was too much to resist eh.

Still there is at least one good thing about the place, the tempreture and humidity in Summer are far more bearable that far out into the desert, a small but significant difference.
The entire development is not one of Emarr's better efforts, though to be fair, it is still very popular, just do not live in Al Reem 1.....

So where to next? Dubai marina is the next abode, should the weasel be reviewing his name? The sea weasel perhaps?

Moving on and again

2007-12-16T07:12:00.000+04:00

A good friend of the Weasel's left Dubai today, and thinking of the good times that had been shared the Weasel became aware that he had little or no record of many of them.

Those times are of course all in the collective memory, but the Weasel does like to savour a good tale, and like a fine wine they are sometimes best laid down for a while before being brought out, dusted off, decanted, garnished as necessary and recounted over a bottle or two.

Fortunately his leaving friend has his own far superior blog and this has driven the Weasel to resolve to maintain this, albeit flawed, record better. On a sadder note, the Weasel is also witnessing a close relative start the slide to old age memory loss, distressing, and something that maybe these accounts scribbled late at night can in some way offset.

One of the oddities of Dubai is that people are always leaving, and not just moving to the next town but literally thousands of miles away, this means that local legend even within small circles only generally lives as long as the last resident of that group remains in Dubai.

The only experience that comes close to this city of temporary residents harks back to the Weasel's youth and a period spent as a cog in the military wheel. There, on constantly rotating postings you were never more than a couple of years from saying goodbye to everyone and meanwhile had to farewell all those you met on day one as they in turn left.

It's an exhausting process and can lead to insulation and shallow relationships, something immediately apparent in the the long term crowd in Dubai when the Weasel first arrived. All friends that were made at that period were themselves newcomers, while this could have been ageism, it was also a shared experience thing and possibly a desire on the part of the old timers to avoid the emotional roller coaster.

In the last few years however the Weasel has seen this gradually change, prior to 2000 Dubai seemed to have two types of resident, those who came for 2 years or those who had been here for 25 years, the difference is now that the churn rate has reduced, the Weasel still has many of the friends that were made on day one and strangely many are still in Dubai, some even left and came back.

This in someway is great but makes their leaving harder when it does come (as it will to all).

Have a good one mate, this furry friend wishes you all the best, we will see you soon.

Appropriate dress

2007-09-19T21:38:00.000+04:00

It is always around this time of year when the letters columns are set alight by various people complaining about the dress of various expats (generally young and female) and the appropriateness to Ramadan.
It is the same hysterical letter over and over again usually ending with that most imaginative of sentiments - if you don't like it , go home.....yawn.

This however is a very different beast, recently the serenity of cubicle land was disturbed by a letter from the heights "reminding" one and all of the standards of dress demanded in order to enter the workplace - to make money for those who are writing the self same letter.

Now exposed flesh (particularly in the belly region) is not something the Weasel will ever voluntarily bare to the world and therefore he feels unable to comment on the rights or wrongs of said exposure, however the other half of this mail dealt with the wearing of suits and ties.

Ties.

A Victorian English homage to the medieval cod piece is considered essential dress in a 21st century business ..............in the tropics.

Sorry but this is ridiculous , it is 40 bloody degrees outside and the Weasel is told to walk around in an (admittedly fine) outfit produced for Edwardian gentlemen who frequented the chilly streets of old Europe.

Now the Weasel knows that the days of Empire when besuited gentlemen strode around the dominions dressed in Saville row's finest are long gone, so why oh why are companies still demanding we dress, and sweat, in acres of worsted, cotton and silk.

The Weasel's one glimmer of hope is that national dress is permitted, so that will be the kilt on Sunday morning then with obligatory lack of undergarments, at least it will be nice and cool.

chavvin it large

2007-09-16T20:56:00.000+04:00

And at a time when non delivery of projects and perpetual building sites are finally knocking the shine off Dubai's tourist numbers comes a report from Dubai's biggest market outside the immediate region - UK.

‘Chav’ influx drags Dubai down market

Mass-market tourists overwhelm the emirate, says one agent, but Oman is benefitting

If there is a downturn in the UK due to money tightness this type of report will just drive more of the upmarket tourists away denting the numbers of tourists willing to pay the 5* rates to hotels who now face massive increases in staff costs because of the amnesty and rubber currency.

mmm let's see what the next couple of seasons bring.

Getting the mud and duck out of here

2007-09-16T20:16:00.000+04:00

The Weasel can't help but think that the government have really shot themselves in the foot with this illegal alien amnesty.

Arabian business has an article that claims today that 8% of the country is currently trying to leave. That's 350,000 people.

This is hailed as a huge success, and if the residency department's sole job was to rid the country of illegal workers then that must be seen as a result.

However, there is no unemployment or other benefit in this country, well not for foreigners anyway, so what were all these people doing? For sure there were a few beggars but to be honest almost none, so all these people were working.

So they have effectively reduced the working population by over 10% (reduction of 8% of total population)..... overnight...... with no plan of how to replace them......when all their current industries are facing a recruitment crisis........and with a currency tied to the American peso which prevents them attracting any more........at a time when they want to grow the economy by 8% a year.......and with literally thousands of unfinished buildings littering the place.

Good one lads, that'll help the country along no end.

Inflation in Dubai is running at more than 10% a year unless you listen to the govt in which case it is only 8%, this can do nothing but significantly add to this figure, and for all those poor sods (including the Weasel) waiting for a building to be finished, or in many cases, started. Tough.

What in the name of basic economics was wrong with legalising their status?

Hopping Mad

2007-09-03T09:38:00.000+04:00

Sorry bit of a non story this from a 1st person report:

Now the Weasel is normally the leader in all things liquid, but for a number of reasons (including a raging hangover) he missed this years festival of yeast, barley and hop at the Irish Village.

Just as well by the sound of it: according to all who went the place descended to a near riot on Friday as thousands of people tried to force their way into a tent built for 500. 7 days quoted a couple of the organisers blithely blaming the punters for all the problems.

Last year there were large queues and while there was some rowdiness all seemed to pass off well but surely they could have anticipated a bigger turnout this year? I know Summer is always a gamble for a promoter but it is the first week of term now and most people were back in town, the Weasel would have laid cash that this was going to be a big event.

So whats the answer? Obvious is to sell tickets but this is Dubai and no-body buys tickets in advance, especially not just for a piss-up, they simply arrive. Bigger tents might help but space becomes an issue as does cooling etc

But really what we need is more things to do in summer, now that's radical, trying to convince promoters there are a lot of us still here despite the heat, might save this small furry mammal from tearing his hair out all summer.

Sentence construction

2007-08-30T11:35:00.000+04:00

spot the difference

One perp is knowingly breaking the law of her own country to deliberately sell drugs, operating within the society that these laws are presumably trying to protect, she has a valid quantity of horrendously expensive hash and attempts to sell to the police.

Other perp is transitting through the country (thereby posing no threat to society) and has, lost in the bottom of his pocket, enough drug to just about get a fieldmouse high.

Guess who go four years and who got one...

Them bad streets of Dubai

2007-07-31T15:36:00.000+04:00

Interesting little ditty in today's Khaleej Times caught the Weasel's eye this morning.

Thefts rise in summer time By a staff reporter 31 July 2007
DUBAI — Thefts, brawls and assaults are the most common of crimes reported during the summer months, suggest the findings of a survey recently conducted by the Dubai Public Prosecution.
Robberies were the most frequent with 40 per cent of cases registered, followed by assaults and fights which accounted for 16 per cent, and financial fraud forming 13 per cent of all reported crimes. According to a top public prosecution official.

Now it is rare to get stats like this thrown out, sure individual crimes are eagerly reported in the 1950s schoolboy prose the KT is so fond of, but we usually don't get to hear the real stats and what the trends are.

Now we only need the actual figures to determine whether Dubai is as safe as the municipality make out. More interesting is speculating as to the why of these increases, after all the town is almost empty, who hangs around in the street in August waiting to get robbed? Or possibly it is that empty houses are targets but then that should be burglary.

Ah summer, the Weasel loves nothing better than to while away the day speculating on pointless questions. What do you mean get back to work...............

Cartel capers

2007-07-24T13:28:00.001+04:00

Even the Weasel is occasionally amazed by the level of blatant price fixing that is all too common in this market. Today on the Dubai eye business breakfast we had the rare treat of listening to one of the local managers justifying the setting up of a cartel to run remittance exchanges, listen here 23rd July .

What really tickles the Weasel is the fact that Mr Joseph Ponnou not only is stupid enough to announce this to all his potential customers but can't seem to realise that this may be a foolish move. In a move that would land him straight in court in the US or EU he blithely witters on that the formation of the cartel is in the consumers best interest, while opening the subject by explaining that it has been set up to ensure prices are as high as possible and no-one undercuts the members of this chummy club.

The only way to combat the runaway inflation we are all experiencing is to allow free competition, eventually prices will find their correct level. Much as the Weasel enjoys the low price of fuel and the attempt at a rent cap, in the end they simply distort the market and all pay the price.

The awarding of import licences to single companies and the set-up of blatant price cartels keeps us beholden to conglomerates that simply print money on the back of UAE consumers.

And that's everyone not just expats.

Big shoes to fill

2007-07-17T08:19:00.000+04:00

Back after a brief sojourn to Ibiza and consequential psychotic episode, every year the Weasel wonders if this is the last year of behaving badly, but then the combined effects of an entire year in the desert conspire to make the occasional blowout feel like a vital safety valve.

Well that's his excuse and he's sticking to it.....

Ironically the earth-aid feel good concert was happening as the Weasel flew overhead on his long weekend away, for one of such diminutive stature the Weasel's carbon footprint is bloody huge. Flying to Ibiza for the weekend does not seem outrageous, this behavior is of course hardly unique in Dubai.

We superchill our offices, deep freeze our houses, take showers in desalinated water, drive our big ol cars and fly 3 times a year (or more in the Weasels case), it's a good job he's unconvinced of the CO2 argument.

Seriously though if this is ever proved beyond the current hysteria the life styles here of much of the population would have to drastically change to meet any global norms, more use of solar would make so much sense along with building for the climate not the perceived tastes of a European housing market.

We await developments.

London

2007-07-06T11:43:00.000+04:00

Today finds the Weasel scampering around his old haunts in London, it is wet, cold and you can't smoke in the pubs.
Tonight off to the white isle for a couple of days, while in Wembley tomorrow tens of thoussands of people will gather to protest about climate change (oh, and listen to a huge rock concert).

Climate change awareness has not really arrived in Dubai, we all know we live in an environment that is only survivable with huge amounts of ac, desalinated water, V8 motors and regular trips away (Weasel endurance limit is 3 months).

What is a little shocking was when last night the Weasel was asked incredulously "don't you feel guilty?"

err no?

Cue tut tutting and storming off - the Weasel may need to prepare a response to this question that doesn't involve flying from Dubai to London to Spain and back again for a party.....

Open season on Dubai banks?

2007-07-03T17:55:00.000+04:00

In a move the Weasel finds hard to comprehend the DFSA appears to have declined to investigate a reputed attempted fraud of $5 bn.

why?

Because it was targeted against an institution not an individual, leaving aside the bloody obvious that a bank's money belongs to individuals who most certainly would have suffered should this scam have worked, what were they thinking?

Does this mean if the Weasel wanders into, lets say Dewa or any other "big institution" and for instance bounces a cheque for his water bill that he will be let off scot free....... nope, he doesn't think so either.

The jails in this town are full of people charged with fraud for bouncing a cheque, so perhaps the story here isn't, why not?

but who can't be investigated?

And this is personal, although called lloyds TSB it isn't a direct branch of the bank and it is probably likely that a loss of this size would have folded the institution, taking the Weasels 2dhs of savings with it. The lack of action cannot do anything to inspire confidence in any financial institution in Dubai

From the Toady today.

The United Kingdom-based banking and insurance group Lloyds TSB Bank, operating from Dubai International Financial Centre (DIFC), has left it to the regulators, the Dubai Financial Services Authority (DFSA), to investigate the $5 billion (Dh18.35bn) financial fraud targeted at the bank.

Media reports had said Lloyds TSB Bank in Dubai had been targeted by fraudsters who tried to raise a credit facility of up to $5bn (Dh18.35bn), in one of the largest attempted financial frauds in the region in recent times.

The regulators said individuals representing two fictitious organisations – Heritage Private Bank of the UK and the Genesis Foundation of Hong Kong – failed in their attempt to use false guarantee documents from five banks, including UBS, the US Federal Reserve and Citibank in Singapore, in a bid to raise funds for an alleged real estate project in Abu Dhabi, the Financial Times reported.

Lloyds TSB’s private banking arm, located in the DIFC, had said in early May it provided information about the use of fraudulent documents to the DFSA.

“Lloyds TSB International Private Banking takes its obligations to combat financial crime extremely seriously and reported an attempted use of fraudulent documents to the DFSA in the appropriate way in early May. This is now a matter for the regulator and we will co-operate fully with any investigation they undertake,” the bank’s spokesperson said in a statement.

Quoting DFSA’s managing director for policy and legal services, Ian Johnston, the Financial Times said after carrying out an investigation the regulator had decided not to pursue injunctions against the individuals involved, as the scam had targeted authorised companies rather than members of the public.

The official pointed out that the fraud attempt, while substantial, was unsophisticated and unlikely to have duped the vetting procedures of authorised companies.

Hipocrates must be spinning in his grave.

2007-07-02T19:38:00.000+04:00

The Weasel had been watching the events in the UK this week unfolding with a kind of detachment, from a professional mode it has been a pain in the arse, but really it is clear the would be firestarters were a bunch of incompetent twats and that was really that, ho hum life goes on.

However the news today that two of these idiots are doctors has left him stunned and appalled. The only hope is that the doctors (real ones: that is) treating the crispy dickhead at his old hospital will forget to use anesthetic, but the truth is they probably will follow their hipocratic oath .

How two people who have seriously taken this oath could then attempt to perpetrate the mass killing (by burning or impaling with nails) of people whose crime was to try to jet off to sunny Spain, is beyond comprehension.

The only good news is that they are so crap at setting off a bomb that the Weasel doubts they were ever any good as doctors, so the world will be better off without them. Rot in jail fuckwits see you in 25 years time.

Entirely predictable x 2

2007-07-01T18:16:00.000+04:00

So there is the Weasel emerging from the gates of the empty quarter that is Arabian Ranches to find a 3 mile tail back stretching down the Emirates rd, by 8:30 the entire place was gridlocked.

Even though the Weasel dutifully bought the silly salik card 2 weeks ago all it means to him is another 20mins each way on the commute (and that is only because he has an early start) despite never going anywhere near SZR or Garhoud.

Cheers you dicks. And can I have the 40mins a day you are stealing back please.

On another joyous note the estate robbers responsible for selling the Weasel a never ending story in the form of a building construction were today (their promised, much revised completion date) questioned about a likely moving in day, the response? "We are sending you a letter" "Really? That's great, what's in it?" "We can't tell you."

So that'll be good news then..............

One day the Weasel would love to think these cowboys will have to take at least some responsibility for their actions, but until then Dubai remains full of crooked, incompetent liars going by the name of estate agents and developers.

Back again

2007-06-30T10:50:00.000+04:00

It's summer and this rodent is bored, so when the conversation of this blog came up at a party the other day the Weasel started to feel a little nostalgic for time spent scratching his fur in search of inspiration.

hmm so what has changed in the intervening 10 months, well apart from the inevitable adding of another inch to his ever expanding weasel girth, that is?

In an all too familiar Dubai story the new Weasel abode, purchased as a desperate attempt to get away from horrendous rent rises, rather predictably, is still surrounded by cranes and the only people sleeping there wear blue overalls.
Today was supposed to be moving-in day, confidently given 6 months ago. That date was already 7 months to a year late according to the brochure or the agent which ever you believe.

Anywhere else in the world and the lawyers would be sharpening their quills, but here there is no recourse of any kind so we wait the developers next installment of the work of fiction that is their handover schedule.
Naturally no-one has has had the decency to give the Weasel a new date but since it will likely be more lies even when it does come, he's not holding his breath.

October is the crunch date, that's when the greedy bitch that owns the current Weasel abode will come up with another 30% increase to match last year's, if the new pad is still not finished by then, homelessness beckons.

Salik day tomorrow, charging the video to take some shots of expected chaos though radio was already hinting at an amnesty until the tags are properly distributed, the Weasel has had a tag for a couple of weeks but still no account number so there's no way to add cash to the account, just a small symptom of how totally ill thought out this whole scheme really is. DW.

Austin embarrassment

2006-08-24T11:59:00.000+04:00

Dear God Dallas Austin's not the brightest spark is he?

Shouting his mouth off about his take on jail in UAE along with a quote on how his accommodation was and how long he expected to be there.........

“I wasn’t in prison, it was nothing like that,” he clarifies, adding that the facility where he was kept had plasma TVs and other creature comforts. “Knowing that I was gonna leave this place, I had one of the best experiences I could ever have.”

The Weasel still wonders why they went to the effort of trying him.

Rat a tat tat

2006-08-13T19:07:00.000+04:00

Now personally the Weasel believes that anyone who stays in a downtown Diera hotel can expect to meet the odd rodent at pretty much any time, some may even have four legs, though almost all will have east European accents.
However to have 3 of the four footed variety in one room in a supposed 3 star hotel is downright grim.

While most in Dubai are aware of the enormous gulf between 3* and 4* hotels, for your visiting Brits this may not be quite so obvious.

This story today in 7 days tells the tale of a Brit family who have had their passports confiscated for failing to pay 3140 dhs to stay in a rat infested room and then being accused of putting the rats there themselves.

Now regardless of how long they stayed before our furry friends appeared or all the other reasons the hotel does not want to refund, do DTC have any idea of how this is going to play out back in the UK?

There already is a growing feeling that Dubai has had its day, that the building has ruined the beach and the traffic has killed getting around the town, Dubai bashers are appearing everywhere, expect a big run of stories mainly highlighting the construction around the Marina to break this autumn.

And to add to this will be the rat - passport confiscation story, (no-one in the UK media will differentiate between 3 and 4 or 5 star hotels), dragging the town through the mud, pretty much the thing the DTC is there to counteract.

The Omani rat planters must be chuckling as they head back to their new resorts springing up around Muscat.

"pssst oi Gov wanna buy a bit of Mumbai - going cheap"

2006-08-06T19:25:00.000+04:00

According to Gulf news in a startling display of business acumen, a Dubai businessman has managed to shell out $10 million to buy a Russian consulate building in Mumbai from the outgoing consul, only to discover the Russian Weasel didn't actually own the building, nor even did the Russian government.

Glorious, and I bet that figure doesn't even include any bung that he paid to speed through the deal.

The land according to Weasel acquaintances, had it been for sale, was roughly half price. So once again someone from this region is led by his greedy nose into a complete scam that your Eastern European types are getting remarkably good at.

As for the Weasel's Russian namesake, he is probably sunning himself on the shore somewhere in Brazil.

An uplifting occasion

2006-08-05T18:30:00.000+04:00

On a dull Saturday the Weasel came across this fabulous site totally dedicated to that most ubiquitous of Dubai landmarks, the crane.

The gloriously named "Hoist" even announces that this years crane conference is heading to, you guessed it, Dubai!

Can't wait.

Surprisingly Dubai didn't get "The popular Crane Safety conference", ah well maybe next year.

Bundle of laughs

2006-08-04T10:42:00.000+04:00

Can't believe the Weasel only learned of this fabulous event via the ever excellent Pop bitch.

Another coup for the sandlands.
What are they thinking of, two random artist introductions:

"JIM DAVIDSON
Jim Davidson is firmly established as one of the countryÂs most popular entertainers in British showbusiness and one of the countryÂs funniest comedians."

Really

"Frank Carson
How would you describe comedy in its purest form? To put it quite simply, it’s a combination of a good joke, well told. Remind you of anything? Here’s a couple of clues: ‘It’s a cracker’ and ‘It’s the way I tell ‘em.” For some performers, ‘comedian’ is a job description. For Frank Carson, it’s his species."

Excuse me while I throw up.

Bobby Davro?? At least he doesn't claim to be the funniest man in Britain

The Weasel was going to put Ronnie - one joke - Corbett's speil here but frankly it is so long winded he can't be arsed, you can read them all if you must.

So as well as have-been bands we now have a crowd of have-been comedians tryinig to cover the cost of their divorces/tax arrears by bringing their own inimitable style to Dubai.

Quite how the authorities intend to treat swearing intrigues the Weasel, with people being jailed or fined for bawling out an Emarr minion some of these acts are going to be struggling for material.

The racism however will fit perfectly with Dubai though so maybe it isn't that surprising.

Naturally despite the lamentable headliners boredom will drive the Weasel to attend if only to heckle from the sidelines.

When a child is born

2006-08-04T09:57:00.000+04:00

There seems to be a bit of a story/rumour developing regarding a newly born baby in the American hospital, a twat in a hat and a possible marriage of necessity. There is interest from the Uk red tops but little evidence has yet emerged.

The baby is definitely real, an acquaintance of the Weasel was giving birth in the next room, the Sun reporter was there hanging out waiting (in vain) for the millinered one to appear.

The Weasel is unclear sure about this one, it doesn't quite ring true but there definitely seems to be some evidence and knowing the archaic laws regarding unmarried mothers it might even have a basis in fact.

1 million 2 hundred thousand 300, Damn lost my place suppose better start again, or maybe not

2006-07-31T19:34:00.000+04:00

So the long awaited census result landed in the papers today, that is long awaited not eagerly... Anyway there appears to be a bit of a major anomaly or maybe it's just the Toady getting its facts wrong again.

The Toady gives the population in 2003 in Dubai as 1204000, however Gulf news gives the 2005 population as 1200309.

Now it is pretty clear the population of Dubai has not gone down, the pressure on housing for everything from labour camps, through bed spaces to 8 bed villas tells us this, so what is going on?

For the previous census in 2003 the Weasel was visited and duly gave the details, this time no census taker appeared, nowhere in the empty quarter, that the Weasel is aware of, was visited, nor were his several acquaintances in Springtime for Hitler.

Could this be nothing more sinister than pure incompetence from the census taking agency?

Who knows,

Anther interesting ditty here
"Of the total local population, males slightly out-number females. There are 418,057 (50.7 per cent) males against 406,864 (49.3 per cent) females in the country."

There do seem to be a few girls missing there....Not uncommon in this part of the world but then neither is the most likely reason for it, despite protestations to the opposite.

Blowing dust up our ass

2006-07-30T18:29:00.000+04:00

So, interesting weekend, when an email appeared forecasting high winds (force 10) and raging seas for Dubai last Friday the Weasel pretty much wrote it off, mainly because almost immediately Gulf news and the Toady published denials.

Yet because of his aviation background the Weasel was still being phoned by friends on Thursday asking if he had heard the news that there was a huge storm coming. All a bit of fun surely and very typical of Dubai.

Slight problem for some though in that building site insurers now put pressure on contractors to stop work (though to be fair not many work on Fridays) and to ensure all equipment and scaffold etc was secured, expensive.

So it was with a certain superiority that the Weasel stumbled to bed on Thursday chuckling at the naivete of Dubai folk - only to wake up the next day to find that the world has disappeared in a haze reminiscent of The Fog. No wind but pretty poor visibility and choking dust.

Since moving to the Empty quarter the Weasel has been subjected to some pretty extreme sand storms but none quite as invasive as this one, the bloody dust is everywhere, in the nose in the eyes, even jamming this keyboard.
The sickness rate at the Weasel workplace has rocketed by 100% (from 1 to 2) but the coughing, sneezing and streaming eyes throughout cubicle land was real enough .

So clearly there was perhaps a grain of truth in the original report, they just got the wind direction wrong by 180 degrees and exaggerated the speed by 5 or 6 times.

The intriguing thing is the warning came out so early, (Monday or Tuesday) that it probably originated from a pretty good forecasting source. The version of the mail the Weasel saw puported to come from the UAE met office and he does wonder if that could have been the origin, sent as a mail to a mate that then got blown out of all proportion (poor pun intended).

Rumour? Gossip? Little basis in fact? Sure, but according to seven days that's nothing new here.

Friends in low places

2006-07-25T18:01:00.000+04:00

For some reason the whole Dallas Austin thing really pissed the Weasel off, it's not that he can't accept the realities of the situation, to be honest the most surprising thing was that it made the news at all, it's just that the blatant immediate release makes the entire place look like some star struck sycophantic fan.
The Weasel is aware that there were political pressures and from some surprising directions (why a US senator found the need to get involved with some dude carrying Bolivian marching powder is beyond reason) but it still leaves a bad taste especially when you read of some poor sod caught at the airport with exactly the same quantity of the same drug who now has gone down for 4 years.

No Wasta, no Iraqi businessman friend, no immediate pardon and little credibility for the UAE I'm afraid.

Super-market

2006-07-17T18:49:00.000+04:00

mmm from today's seven days

"7DAYS would like to point out that the four-page "Daily Planet" supplement carried in yesterday's paper was an advert for the release of the new movie "Superman Returns". Superman has not really been spotted flying down Sheikh Zayed Road nor has he been seen swooping over Luxor in Egypt. 7DAYS would like to thank those readers who thought otherwise for their concerned telephone calls."

The Weasel would love to think this was true but has to cynically believe that it's probably just an extension to the media run the day before.....if so it does raise some ethical issues especially for a paper that does claim to tell the truth.

(and they left out Beirut....)

But then again, this is a country where a fair number of people believe putting thousands of Dollars into a box and shaking some bones over it will cause their money to double, even funnier there are those who really believed that borrowing vast sums of cash to speculate on a hugely inflated stock market was a good investment, so maybe, just maybe, it's true.

back to a turbulent world

2006-07-16T16:53:00.000+04:00

Back after a gap caused by boredom, work and attendance at the world cup.

Also trying a new mobile posting solution to allow composition on the move, or indeed in the pub while barely moving at all.

Lots to think about including a disastrous war in Lebanon that threatens to knock one of the Weasel's favourite places back to the civil war levels of destruction, well at least as far as major engineering is concerned.

Hopefully they're able to avoid all out, or worse civil, war, despite that appearing to be at least one of Israel's apparent aims.

While innocence and guilt are never as black and white as either side would like us to believe all we can do is try to get all the facts straight make our opinions known and be sensitive to those under attack.

So while skimming the spoof Daily Planet insert in 7days (and others) designed to promote the upcoming Superman movie, the Weasel was appalled to see that one of the 'sightings' of superman was on July 15 in downtown Beirut, complete with picture of 4 happy girls staring at a delta winged dot in the sky ....is it a bird? Is it a plane........(cue loud descending whistle).

Surely not beyond the realms of possibility to pull the ad or at the least change the location of that image, come on, the shooting started 4 days ago.

So farewell then - pretty flamingo

2006-04-15T19:22:00.000+04:00

I know we are assured that all the studies have been done and that they won't be harmed.

But frankly I don't fancy their chances.

I mean would you hang around while all aound people were building islands and multi storey blocks. I mean seriously, those island building ships were loud when they were 3 miles out to sea.

Good to see the Toady staying on company message though.

Sama Dubai, the newly-created real estate arm of Dubai Holding, yesterday announced the launch of The Lagoons, a waterfront project comprising seven islands on the Dubai Creek to be developed at a cost of Dh65 billion.

Spread over 70 million square feet near the Ras Al Khor end of the Creek, The Lagoons will be one of the largest property developments in the emirate, said Dubai Holding Executive Chairman Mohammad Al Gergawi, who is also the UAE Minister of State for Cabinet Affairs.

Comprising seven landscaped islands linked with bridges, the project plan includes residential units, shopping centres, office towers and marinas.

Sama Dubai Chief Executive Officer Farhan Faraidooni told Emirates Today that the seven islands will be interlinked and linked with the mainland by 40 bridges, which are about to begin construction.

Phase one of the development, which was the land development, is over, he said, and the infrastructure for the bridges will be completed by the end of this month.

Dubai Holding’s real estate ventures – including Dubai Properties and Dubai International Properties (DIP) – were merged under the Sama Dubai umbrella last week. DIP has large projects in Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Bahrain. But this is by far the biggest we’ve done so far, added Faraidooni.

Other elements include parks, a boardwalk, resorts, marinas, five-star hotels, bicycle and jogging tracks, and waterfront malls and souqs, the company said.

The finalisation by the Dubai Roads and Transport Authority of a new bridge linking Bur Dubai and Deira is close to The Lagoons, Faraidooni said, which will ensure smooth traffic to and from the development.

So farewell then - the Sunny Cyclone

2006-04-15T18:23:00.000+04:00

Along with the Al Nasar Bollywood cinema and the Lodge a third Dubai institution is to suffer a rude bulldozing.

In a move that has shocked fat, balding, middle-aged men everywhere, it appears that the Cyclone is no more.

It always was packed and to be honest must have made millions, so I wonder where the trade will be transported to next.

Or is it possible that with the closure of Premier rooms and a couple of other bars in Bur Dubai, this is the start of a Dubai cleanup?

The Weasel sincerely hopes not, a city with no sleaze is a very boring town indeed and it seemed that the Cyclone always served a purpose without being too in your face.

Supearb car ad from the eighties

2006-04-10T12:37:00.000+04:00

Awful, crap car but fantastic stunts and mostly done for real rather than against a blue screen.
Thte canal jump in particular is incredible, can't wait to see the local cowboys trying this across the Marina...

Scary stuff

2006-04-09T18:39:00.000+04:00

The Weasel is starting to like the New Yorker magazine more every day, I was shown this article by a good friend on mine now living here for a stint, (read his blog) .

Apart from the nonsense of the regime change scenario (haven't you tried this before folks?) the scary thing about this is the admission that "tactical" nukes would have to be used to reach the production bunkers.

Whatever they say this could well result in a very nasty cloud of iradiated dust, rock and earth (fallout to you and I) drifting over the Gulf - we are both in the market for a complete set of NBC kit.

These guys seems to have pretty much everything you could need, now all the Weasel has to do is work out where to tuck his tail in one of these suits.

Skywards makes it into the New Yorker

2006-04-04T21:04:00.000+04:00

This is truly hilarious.

original link

or go here and try for yourself

FRIENDLY SKIES DEPT.

PEANUTS, MADAM?

Issue of 2006-04-10

Posted 2006-04-03

When you sign up online for Skywards, which is the frequent-flier program of Emirates, the international airline of the United Arab Emirates, you enter your name, address, passport number, and other information, and you select an honorific for yourself from a drop-down list.

A few of the choices, in addition to the standard Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, and Dr, are: Admiral, Air Comm, Air Marshal, Al-Haj (denoting a Muslim who has made a pilgrimage to Mecca), Archbishop, Archdeacon, Baron, Baroness, Colonel, Commander, Corporal, Count, Countess, Dame, Deacon, Deaconess, Deshamanya (a title conferred on eminent Sri Lankans), Dowager (for a British widow whose social status derives from that of her late husband, properly used in combination with a second honorific, such as Duchess), Duchess, Duke, Earl, Father, Frau, General, Governor, HRH, Hon, Hon Lady, Hon Professor, JP (justice of the peace?), Judge, Khun (the Thai all-purpose honorific, used for both men and women), L Cpl, Lt, Lt Cmdr, Lt Col, Lt Gen, Midshipman, Mlle, Monsieur, Monsignor, Mother, Pastor, Petty Officer, Professor, Senor, Senora, Senorita, Sgt, Sgt Mjr, Shaikha (for a female shaikh, or sheikh), Sheikh, Shriman (an Indian honorific, for one blessed by Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of wealth, wisdom, luck, and other good things), Sister, Sqdn Ldr, Sqn Ldr, Sub Lt, Sultan, Swami, The Countess, The Dowager, The Duchess, The Marquis, The Matron, The Rev Canon, the Reverend, The Rt Hon, The Ven, The Very Revd, Ven, Ven Dr, Very Revd, Vice Admiral, Viscount, and Viscountess.

Anyone who chooses King obviously goes in first class, Private in economy, Wing Cmdr in an exit row. But what about Cardinal? Does he belong in first class (by virtue of his position in the ecclesiastical hierarchy), economy (for doctrinal seemliness), or business (a possible compromise)? Are Prince and Princess the business-class versions of The Prince and The Princess, or do all royals automatically belong in first? If you accumulate enough miles for a cabin upgrade, do you get a title upgrade, too? And if you’re just a Representative (or a Member of Parliament), rather than a Senator (or a Lord), what are you supposed to do? Fly Delta?

One thing is clear: the list must have been compiled by a retired British military man now employed by a peer or peeress who has strong ties to the Church of England. About sixty per cent of the available titles are British military ranks, or flavors of British aristocrat, gentleman, or Protestant clergyman—that is, unless Hon is meant as the traditional title of respect bestowed on members of both sexes by waitresses in the Midwest. Surprisingly few Islamic or Arabic honorifics are available, given the provenance of the airline. Rabbi is offered, but not Imam—although if you select Rabbi you do so at your peril, since people whose passports bear Israeli stamps may be denied entry to the U.A.E.

A lesson to be learned from the Skywards form is that attempts at exhaustiveness are inherently self-defeating: the longer a list, the more conspicuous its lacunae. Queen is not offered (although Mayoress is), and you can be His (but not Her) Highness, His (but not Her) Honour, Marquis but not Marquise—omissions that suggest retribution for past affronts, or, conceivably, punishment for unacceptable behavior on previous flights.

The corporate headquarters of Emirates is in Dubai, which is also the home of Dubai Ports World, the company whose British subsidiary, Congress has decided, should no longer be allowed to manage six major American ports. Those who similarly feel disinclined to earn travel premiums from foreign powers with Arabic-speaking rulers will be relieved, perhaps, to know that Guest Rewards, which is the frequent-traveller program of Amtrak, also has an online application form with an extensive drop-down list of honorifics. The Amtrak list isn’t as long as the one offered by Emirates, but it does include several titles that the latter doesn’t, among them Chief Petty Officer, Chief Warrant Officer 4, Master Chief, and Senior Chief. It also has an appealing feature that Skywards lacks: a drop-down list of suffixes. If you do a lot of domestic travelling by train and happen, for example, to be the great-great-great-grandson of the character on “Gilligan’s Island” who was portrayed by the late Jim Backus, you can enroll yourself in Guest Rewards, and very possibly nowhere else, as Thurston Howell VIII.

Ranches access roadkill

2006-04-04T20:39:00.000+04:00

Yet another road post, I will make a sad prediction here:

Someone is going to die on the access road to the Gazelle ghetto at Arabian ranches and probably before too long.

While every other Emarr slum in waiting is serviced with dual carriageways for some reason the 1000 plus homes at Gazelle have a single-lane twisting access to the main road. Emarr's response to the danger of speeders is to put in speed humps, the Weasel now has to negotiate 16 speed humps to reach the main road.

And is it safer? What do you think..

The speed bumps concentrate the traffic leaving drivers frustrated as they crawl along behind slow trucks, busses or cars. This changes the risk-reward ratio in that frustrated drivers take risks to overtake very slow vehicles whereas people will happily sit behind vehicles moving at 50 or 60kmh

The Weasel has now met drivers on the wrong side of the road overtaking 3 times. Twice he managed to stop, the third time he was forced from the road into the sand.

Now the Weasel mobile is low and probably cannot be seen behind bushes around the blind bend you overtake on, but guess what, that is why you have to wait until you can properly see the road ahead BEFORE you overtake.

It isn't even a race thing, of the 3, one was an Indian worker, one a local woman and one a stupid western bitch with Baby on board stickers on her rear window (not one but two), who never-the-less pulled out around a buss and two cars on a blind bend, very clever.

The Weasel has now taken to driving with lights on in the ranches but even this didn't help against the last stunning example of attempted suicide/baby murder.

We drive in fear.

Unmarked cars in town.

2006-04-04T20:27:00.000+04:00

Well were they listening I wonder. The cops have in an amazing u-turn put unmarked cars on the road with the explicit task of stopping and fining motorists.

In their first day of operation they claim to have stopped over 350 vehicles and doled out almost 70 grand in fines, wonders will never cease.

Will this make a difference? In the long run providing it is fairly applied - yes.

Slight problem for the Weasel though, having called for this move several times it really would not be clever to be stopped since it is a couple of years since the Weasel mobile was registered and this seems to be one of the main stopping reasons.

Time to head to the rego shop.

Cops in road patrol shocker

2006-03-28T17:06:00.000+04:00

So Dubai police are making all the right noises re their proposed policy to actually police the roads of the UAE.

Sounds good but reading a little deeper a familiar tale emerges.

"He defended what he acknowledged was a low number of stops, on the basis that officers often did not want to worsen an already dangerous situation by pursuing serious offenders at high speed."

Sounds laudable enough and indeed some EU police forces have this policy in urban areas however that is where this falls of the rails

"But in the case of drivers who and refuse to stop...Instead, a circular with the vehicle’s description would be sent out and when the driver is arrested “he will end up facing much harsher punishment with bigger fines for reckless driving and possible jail time for refusing to cooperate with the police,”

Right, well if he is of poor Indian Sub Continent descent he might, or a westerner with no wasta, maybe, but we all know what will happen to the rest.

The truth is that the police avoid confrontation with anyone who might have any clout at all ,thus ensuring that any wastered local can run from them in the sure knowlage that it will all be sorted by a back room deal.

That is not going to help this appaling carnage on what are excellent roads at all I'm afraid.
Currently according to a UN report Dubai has the third most dangerous rouds in the world, not a record to be proud of in any way.

Interesting report written in 2000 listing some of the sociological reasons for the standard of driving here.

I find it bizarre that a country that pushes Emiterisation so heavily and prizes sons so much, would be quite so complacent as to sit back and watch them slaughtered on their roads, the economic toll alone is enourmous.

And while the Weasel gives not a jot to the UAE's loss he does however want to be able to get to work and back without several emergency stops.

Reputations

2006-03-26T19:00:00.000+04:00

Interesting to see that the labour dispute at the Burj Dubai and the airport has made it to the US with the New York Times picking up the story

Dubai needs to be a bit careful here methinks.

Amateur day at the racing.

2006-03-26T17:45:00.000+04:00

So seven days is getting all excited that people go to the races but don't see a horse, erm is the Weasel the only one that thinks 'yeah, so what?'

They would have been far better employed reporting on the total shambles that was getting into and home from the event.

Now every year it is chaos trying to get into the International village and hell trying to get home yet the organisers do absolutely nothing effective to improve the situation the following year.

Dubai wants to attract more and more people and these signature events are part of that strategy, but the chaotic scenes that saw thousands of people trying to enter the international village through one gate really are pathetic, they show how piss poor the organisation really is.

How about two gates? Or even God help us three?

The taxi situation at the end of the night is frankly out of control with massive queues and traffic jams caused by people walking out to the main roads. Not to mention the amount of drink driving that probably happens as people give up and hit their cars.

Why is it beyond the ability of anyone to come up with a taxi system that works?

I mean this race has been running for 11 years in the same place and they still can't work it out.

Amateurs I'm afraid.

Anyway back to the seven days article with everyone saying that the event is nothing like Ascot, "nobody seems to talk about the racing" bleats one individual, well did it ever occur to him maybe that's because there's no gambling?

Of course you pay more attention to the nags at a European or Australian meet, most people there have next month's mortgage riding on the nose, does wonders for your attention on the horses that does.

Personally the Weasel is not that fussed about the gee gees, but he does love a good pissup, fix the taxis and he will be back next year.

Flight path roulette

2006-03-23T10:05:00.000+04:00

Yesterday while attending a jolly little barbie directly under the flight path in Mirdiff, the Weasel got to thinking about aviation safety and the just released EU fly well list.

A little oblique perhaps, but in a previous existence the Weasel was a licensed aircraft engineer and when the planes seem they are about to land in your garden, it's understandable.

For those that spend a little less time than the Weasel in the air, the Fly Well list (read it here) has been compiled by the EU from a series of individual lists held by member countries, in a word it's about safety, that's passenger safety and safety for people on the ground.

The EU has decided that the airlines on the list, the majority of which come from Africa, are unsafe to fly over the EU due to poor or dangerous maintenance, poor training standards or unsafe operations.

This is not a lightly taken decision, there are appeal procedures and it all is a pretty commendable attempt to protect EU citizens.

Dubai on the other hand has an open skies policy, great for trade perhaps but unfortunately some airlines that star on the fly well list are very frequent visitors to Dubai.

Ariana Afghan Airways fly in every day (enter Kabul and yesterdays date), or pic here, and it isn't just passenger flights, here is a pic of another EU banned cargo outfit on the tarmac at Dubai, the gloriously named Silverback Cargo freighters.

Feeling fine because you live in Emirates Hills, and frankly who cares if a dodgy 727, flown on a wing and a prayer by a tribesman from the North West frontier, lands in some poor sods garden in Mirdiff?

Well coming soon to a smug suburb near you, Ladies and Gentlemen, we present.....................

Jebel Ali international airport, six runways worth of flight path roulette.

Enjoy.

Syndication

2006-03-20T16:47:00.000+04:00

Mmmm... I wonder if the Gulf News will pick up the sydication rights to this little story

http://www.buffalonews.com/editorial/20060319/1030427.asp

Road to nowhere

2006-03-19T17:56:00.000+04:00

The the Emirates evening post (don't look for a link as this pitiful rag doesn't manage to run a site)
today runs a story dealing with the just announced plans for widening the Dubai Sharjah highway.

700 million buys a bit of a wider road and some new intersections. Oh and two years of hell as they do the work..

The result of this claims the municipality is a reduction of 58%!!!!!!!

They don't state if this is 58% less time or if the traffic density is reduced by 42%?

Either way it is total bollocks, much of the congestion does not originate on the road but at either end of it and that's before you add in the inevitable accidents and rubberneckers, so unless you do something about downtown Diera much of that congestion still is there, only now people get to it a little faster.

The other massive flaw to this is that there is a huge pent up demand in Dubai that would would move to sharjah tomorrow to escape the clutches of the Dubai landlords if the commute was even semi bearable. This of course ensures any spare capacity is rapidly filled and we just end up worse than ever, judging by how quickly this has happened elsewhere here, I give it 6 months.

Besides by the time they have built it the population will have probably gone up by at least 20%.

Perhaps a better idea might have been to build a tramway or light railway that can carry real numbers of people on this route or even add an extend to the Metro?

Appreciate when you cross boundaries there are always issues but this does work to the advantage of both Emirates, Sharjah get thousands of people renting their houses and spending money in their shops and Dubai gets to keep access to cheaper labour accommodation.

Either way a wider road isn't going to cut it I'm afraid.

It might be me but.....

2006-03-19T17:30:00.000+04:00

Is this town getting more dangerous?

It might be a statistical blip but the papers seem to be carrying stories like this several times a week, while Emirates toady carries the lead story of a taxi driver stabbed for his cash.

I know most people who live here know it is safe compared to most other cities but it does feel that murders and serious assaults are on the rise.

Not sure if we will ever get accurate statistics, though the cops do release end of year figures they tend not to be compared with other years or stats so trends are hard to spot.

And to be fair we have to take into account the rise in population but still it feels as if things may be changing a little for the worst.

When in Rome

2006-03-17T14:12:00.000+04:00

Seems that Whako Jackoff has been learning from his new friends in the Gulf.

Clearly there are much greater priorities than paying your workers, difference being of course he has now been forced to pay...

Noodles on the run

2006-03-16T18:29:00.000+04:00

So there was the Weasel, plus faithful sidekick and new American drinking companion just tucking into his second pint on the regular Wednesday (early) evening session outside at Bar Zar, when right next door at the Noodle House, in walks Sheikh Mo.

He orders up some noodles plus an orange juice, sits on the next table with one companion and tucks in.

Not sure if much notice had been given since there were a few mangers running around looking a little worried, no-one asked the, by now boisterous, Weasel party to move and it all went off pretty smoothly.

This is one of the things that the Weasel likes here, it was great to see the Ruler of Dubai sat at the next table like any other resident with no intrusive security and getting down to it with a bowl of noodles.

Two little star struck local kids wandered out from the noodle house and said hello before their horrified mum dashed out and dragged them away.

Maybe the weasel is easily impressed but I thought it was a great touch for HH to be out among the minions and it only reinforces my opinion that the Noodle House really is one of the best places to grab a quick bite.

Hours of endless fun for the over 45s

2006-03-16T18:19:00.000+04:00

Well it appears that Sony have finally announced what all geeks know, that the Play Station 3 is not going to arrive this Spring. Not earth shattering news I know but never the less it has driven the Weasel to finally take the plunge and buy an X-BOX 360, what also helped is that the price has finally got to a reasonable level, dhs1800 in Geant at I'm a potato mall.
First impressions are impressive and the weasel is almost looking forward to those trapped indoor summer days that are just around the corner.

Winter Weasel land

2006-03-14T19:19:00.000+04:00

Back again after a week of winter Weasel Land fun, fantastic conditions and loads of snow.

Did get pretty nippy though with temps as low as -26c and one day when almost 3 feet of snow fell.

Zermatt with the Matterhorn in the background.

Loverly.

Arrogant pink peril prowls the Springs

2006-03-01T09:15:00.000+04:00

This is simply priceless, and of course she is lying through her teeth, either that or her dog has a serious incontinence problem, no dog craps 3 times on a single walk.

So not only will she not pick up her dog's shit but she won't even clean her own shoes, forcing her poor maid to do it.

Do you have any idea how you look Pink Pants?

Good Samaritan act led to dog fouling complaint

Wednesday, 01 March 2006

In reponse to Concerned Resident of Meadows 7, I am the lady whose dog unfortunately fouled your path. I always go out armed with bags to pick up my dog's mess. On the day you complain of, I had picked up and disposed of several "accidents".

Nearing the end of our walk, I met a child who was trying unsuccessfully to carry an armful of toys to a friend's house to play. I offered the child my last "poop" bag to prevent her from dropping the toys, perhaps in the middle of the road where she could have been run over.

It appears that this Good Samaritan act has made me and my dog the object of your neighbourly anger. Please, Concerned Resident, rest assured that in future I will take many more bags with me when out walking.

I too do not enjoy stepping in dog faeces, and have at times in the past had to ask my maid to clean it off the bottom of my shoes. She always complains of the smell!

Pink Pants, Dubai

Bird flu bandits?

2006-02-26T20:26:00.000+04:00

May be another rumor.
Bizarre mail going around, it appears that folks are answering the door to people claiming to be from the health ministry,after being told they have to have a vaccination for bird flu they are pumped full of sedative and their apartment robbed.

Kinda cunning in a weasel sort of way I thought, though you would have to be pretty stupid to fall for the con.

"Excuse me sir I'm from the health ministry and so are my friends, and I want to jab you full of a bird flu vaccine (that doesn't exist)"

"doh ok"

Prepared for a stampede

2006-02-23T12:56:00.000+04:00

No-one could accuse Dubai municpality of over ambition in forecasting visitor numbers to the new history of Dubai museum.

From 7 Days - hilarious

Municipality museum

Thursday, 23 February 2006

The Municipality re-opened its old headquarters as a museum yesterday. The exhibition will showcase the history of Dubai and the civic body. Hussein Nasser Lootah, acting director general of the Municipality, said he hopes to get 50 visitors a day to the site in the Old Souk area of Deira.

Lakeside living

2006-02-23T11:44:00.000+04:00

There's just no pleasing some people, everyone knows that waterside homes are worth much more than your standard, high quality, Emarr built property, conveniently situated next to the Emirates road.

So when a number of Arabian ranches acquired a new lake view you would have thought people would have been grateful to Emarr for the added value (albeit temporary) that their Desert community homes have acquired.

Some people even get indoor lakes so they don't have to leave their front room to enjoy lakeside living.

But no, it's just moan, gripe, complain.

Poor Emarr they just never seem to get the credit they deserve.

That'll teach them then

2006-02-20T20:59:00.000+04:00

I know a lot of people want to bury this case but the sentences handed down today for what apparently was a premeditated and planned gang rape of a British girl are appalling.

2 Years - no wonder she stormed from the court. Oh and 10,000 dhs in compensation, presumably that's what the court thinks a gang rape is worth...

The defendants were all locals.

There very much is an attitude amongst some, that she was a westerner who got in a car after being harassed by another group and therefore had it coming, an attitude that this sentence will do nothing to dispel.

The fact that both groups were working together meant this girl had to endure a terrifying ordeal in the desert while her attackers will now do another year and a bit in jail.

This is another small nail in the coffin of Dubai I'm afraid, safety has always been one of the countries biggest selling points, heavily pushed by Dubai inc, and while no society can necessarily prevent this type of attack, they can sentence to deter.

The idea that local youths can pretty much do what they want, with only a slap on the wrist if caught is not unknown to those who live here, but it will come as a shock to the western countries on whom this place depends for tourism dollars.

We await the appeal procedure which can raise or lower the sentence, and hopefully will review this for the sake of all women here.

Global warming?

2006-02-18T22:08:00.000+04:00

Is there per chance a little global warming going on in the Ski Dome?
Certainly snow levels are way down and the last report is that snow is soft even melting, leaving patches of underfloor visible.
To compensate the air tempreture is freezing, making the whole experience less than pleasant.

I wonder if t hey got their calculations wrong? can the snow making not keep up with the melt rate? Has the recent warmer weather has got at the base of the snow?

A personal inspection later this week in the run up to the annual Weasel in Winter fest in Europe.
Will report back.

A tale of 3 cities

2006-02-14T17:44:00.000+04:00

Three related stories today, one of them in the realms of fantasy but hey it is Dubai.

1. Dubai to get BUS LANES, this is hilarious, bus lanes? Who in their right mind believes this will make even a tiny difference to congestion, nobody pays the slightest notice of any current lanes so why do the Municipality in their flight of fancy think this will make even a remote difference.

Look busses carry poor people, they can wait. There are far too many people in this town who think they are too important or simply can't be arsed to queue. It will never work.
Can you really see Im bin Important sitting in his Escalade stuck in a jam while workers busses pass him on the inside?

More likely perhaps, are Lexus lanes as used in LA where the rich pay to go faster, but since most people in Dubai are rich that has almost as little chance of working. Besides if the poor and middle classes can't get to work to pay their rent then the rich get poorer so it becomes a viscious circle.

Bit like Sim City really...... mmm I wonder.......

Anyway, Another ditty here stating the bloody obvious that people in the UAE:

Love cars
Hate busses
Will not give up their cars for any hare brained scheme especially busses (and probably the metro)
Realise quality of life depends on transport as one of the big influences, particularily not riding on busses

And then a strange and a little ill informed article from the Guardian wondering if Dubai is set to become the most important city on Earth.

Err no, it might well become the most polluted and slowest moving though...

So farewell then non censored surfing

2006-02-06T17:44:00.000+04:00

It seems the Etisalat (and Son of Etisalat) big brother regulator has decided that all in the UAE must only be able to see censored web content. Including bizarrely the news organisations that were lured here with the promise of unfettered access and no govt interference.

They were also promised competition in ISPs and that other offshore cables would be brought ashore to lift our connectivity to the hi tech economy, but not much is said about that any more...

As for the comments on Skype they are laughable,

"We are not protecting anyone," says Ghanim, keen to show that Etisalat is not going to get an easy ride from his office.

However when talking about Skype he blatantly says that it is banned because it provides phone services at the end of the ip- ip connection.

Doh - what is that if not protection.

Duty of care? Or personal responsibility - harsh but fair

2006-02-02T12:00:00.000+04:00

Emarr has now closed all the swimming pools on their properties under orders of the municipality, depriving the Weasel of the only leisure facility he uses, and one of the few compensations for living on the set of Dune 2.

There is the promise that they may reopen in March though we are all aware of their track record on deadlines.

On the surface this looks reasonable, following the tragic death of a five year old girl in a Springs pool the municipality are insisting that the pools have lifeguards, but we need to look at this in a wider context.

Far too often here there is a knee jerk reaction to any press pressure or even rumor, now the parents of the little girl that died are naturally upset and of course cannot see, or don't want to accept, that only they are in the end responsible for the safety of their children.

Sure blaming the municipality, Emarr or whoever makes them feel better about their loss, but it is wrong.

I'm sorry but you didn't watch your child, no one is saying this was intentional, it was an accident, but you cannot blame someone else.

Far too often people in this country (and others) abdicate responsibility for the care of their children to others, maids in particular can be seen gathered at the playgrounds or in the malls with their charges. But you have to acknowledge that the responsibility in the end is still the parent's.

As the Weasel understands the facts, the little girl drowned while her parents we there at the pool, whether this was because she couldn't swim at all, in which case she should not have been there, or whether she got into difficulty and no-one noticed is irrelevant, if you take your offspring to the pool you are responsible for them, end of story.

More to the point I resent being made to pay for the inability of some to care for their own children. All the pools are fenced with kid proof locks that should be enough.

Now for those not living under the heel of Emarr this currently appears to be irrelevan,t but if you live in a compound or building with a pool this will affect you.

All pools everywhere will need guards, in the end you'll be lucky to be able to take a bath without having some dude in yellow and red sitting on the end of it.

The last Dhow to be built in Dubai?

2006-02-01T13:31:00.000+04:00

Following his rambling rant about the fate of the Dhow builders at the head of the creek the Weasel decided that it was about time he visited the place before the concrete pourers take over.

It's not often you get to witness the passing of an age no less.

Dhows have been built in Dubai and all over the region for centuries, it is believed they are possibly descendants of ancient trading vessels coupled with medieval designs taken from ships that sailed from Venice and other Mediterranean ports to trade spices with the caravans
It is still possible to get down to what remains of the yards, though I wouldn't hang around if you want to see this fascinating place.
To get there take the turning by the garden stalls on the right heading towards the Garhoud bridge and hang a left where a sign points towards the jet ski rides. Park by the skis and walk through the new fence.

The Weasel fell into conversation with Rajit, a lumber supplier, he is providing the wood for what in all likelihood will be the last large Dhow built in Dubai.
It is the ship on the right along side its stunning smaller sister vessel, shown at the top of the page.

At 140 feet long it's an impressive sight from outside and amazing inside the hull.

The craftmanship is supearb and all done by hand, 2 years of labour and about 1 million dhs as a bare hull or 4 million fully fitted with engines.

The beam is over 40 feet which presents its own problems, in order to have a strong enough deck single spars of wood must be used to span the ship, however modern containers cannot carry logs longer than 38 feet or so, meaning that steel will have to be used to support the deck.

The curvature of the ribs is natural and obtained by using trees brought in from Pakistan that are naturally curved (maybe because of the wind?) .
this means the ribs are stronger.

Take away the iron bolts from this image an it could be anytime in the last 1000 yrs, even with them it could be 500 years old. Apart from yer man's ratchet spanner that is of course...

Beats the crap out of plastic Dinosaurs.

Ships of the desert

2006-02-01T10:10:00.000+04:00

Back again after a sabbatical caused by a protracted hangover and depression brought on by moving so far into the desert that I expect to meet Beau Geste staggering over a dune any day now.

Anyway, back to the ships of the desert. Today's tale relates not to our humped backed, even-toed, ungulate friends (camels to you and I) but the ocean going variety that have been constructed at the head of the creek for many years, possibly hundreds though no-one appears to know for sure.

It was reported in Emirates Today that the dhow builders are being thrown off their traditional spots and relocated to a yard in Jebel Ali that is landlocked.

"The shipbuilders say that they will be located in a land-locked area which will cause them problems. Salah bin Toak, a UAE shipbuilder who runs Bin Toak Yacht Manufacturing and Maintenance, said: “Shipbuilders do not want compensation when they are moved to Jebel Ali.

They want a location overlooking the sea to move their final product to the market.” Bin Toak said the plot that was provided in Jebel Ali would be more suitable for ship maintenance and not for building dhows, yachts, fishing boats and cargo ships.

“Dhows are traditional Arab wooden ships, and the weight of the wood is considerable. There are no facilities for us to carry and transport these heavy ships. It will cost us an extra half a million dirhams to move them,” he said."

Now putting aside the unfairness of the eviction because frankly it's a commercial world, it appears that Dubai is yet again set on destroying something that could help this place retain its character. After the folly of the Bastika demolitions years ago I might have thought they would have learned a lesson but it appears not.

Instead of building plastic and concrete dinosaurs (literally) why not relocate the boat builders to a location where they can reach the sea and people can come and watch. They may seem part of the messy old Dubai that doesn't move at a million miles an hour but that in reality is one of the things that tourists hanker after and can hardly find here.

Yes there is some culture and history in Dubai but precious little is on view.

So here, when you have a living and breathing museum that represents what Dubai started out as, building replicas of medieval sailing ships, why is the natural, and apparently only, answer to bulldoze them out of their livelihoods and deprive Dubai of a resource that, sensibly promoted, could be a fantastic tourist attraction?

None of this would matter if Dubai wasn't hanging its hat on 12 Million tourists coming through the place by 2010. Sure people will come and stay in the 5 star hotels but to keep the room rates high the destination has to provide some culture and history. Already Dubai is going off the boil in Europe, becoming too common and frankly a little chav in places.

Now it's not that there aren't enough chavs in the world to pack the place, but is Dubai going to be ready for them and all they represent, and more crucially, how little they will want to pay.

And don't think there isn't an alternative for the upmarket tourists, there is already a big buzz in the UK and France about the quieter, more cultural, beautiful neighbour to the South East.

Oman.

A lot of press has been generated over the last few months for example a couple of Sunday times articles here and an excellent 5 page spread in the Times colour supplement here

So while Dubai is stuffing low value theme park goers into her hotels Oman will be skimming the high value, low impact, upmarket travellers and laughing all the way to the bank.

Singin' in the rain

2005-12-31T18:08:00.000+04:00

Do love a drop of rain, that's a drop mind you not a torrential downpour, and especially not when on the sheikh Zayeed rd.

What a moments before had been the usual group of psychos, sunneymen and landcruisers quickly became the land of the dazed and seriously confused. Some tried to drive even closer, some almost stopped and put the hazards on, several skidded, one into the car in front, all pretty much as you would expect.

The biscuit today however was taken by the open top truck drivers.

Now I know you may have a load that doesn't like rain, and I know you couldn't be arsed (or possibly couldn't afford) to get a tarpaulin to cover the goods, but none of that gives you the right to stop THREE DEEP under a bridge in the middle of sheikh Zayeed Rd, yeah that's right taking up hard shoulder, lane one and lane two 8 trucks totally stationary, while traffic tries to get past in appalling visibility, just so the truckwits can try to keep their cargo dry.

It's a good job I don't have a gun....

On a happier note off to Wafi tonight for a bit of rooftop fun with the added spice of playing rain roulette.

Happy new year to all.

Happy Christmas

2005-12-25T11:37:00.000+04:00

Back again after a riotous stint in Sydney. Now the weasel is not in the slightest religious but still enjoys this time of year - pissups, parties and presents, and to cap it all, in Dubai you only have to share it with people you like.

Doesn't get much better than that.

Happy Christmas to all.

Driven to Distraction

2005-12-05T20:59:00.000+04:00

So Bob Farrow writing in Seven days reckons that speed is the root of all the evil that is Dubai driving.

Wrong, wrong and wrong again.

It is not speed that kills, not here and in 95% of cases not anywhere. Speed makes accidents worse yeah that point can be made, but rarely is pure speed the cause. This assertion is simplistic nonsense that does not take into account the realities of any road situation.

Well what are the causes: stupidity, recklessness, inattention, impatience, ignorance, rudeness and inappropriate speed. (to name a few)
Now all these traits can happen below, at, or in some cases above the speed limit at that particular place and time.

How does speeding affect red light jumping (see stupidity, recklessness, impatience)
How does speeding affect hard shoulder driving (as above)
Tailgating?
Aggressive driving, cutting up, forcing into queues?
Weaving across 4 lanes to gain one car's length?
Drink driving?
Falling asleep or passing out from lack of food?
Driving from the outside lane to try and make an exit across 5 lanes of moving traffic?
Indicating then driving as if surrounded by a force field?
Driving on the phone?
Driving in a car full of unsecured kids and other distractions?
Driving with feet on dash or with seat so low you can't see out?
Or with windows so black you can't see out?
Or so slowly in the outer lanes of a highway as to make an effective roadblock?
Or not understanding the rules or practicalities of a roundabout or lane merge?
Pulling out into traffic without looking or more likely without caring?
Reckless pedestrians?
Bikes cycling the wrong way on a main road?
Dangerous overloaded, unlicensed, trucks and cars?
Oil spills and debris on road?
Industrial machinery on highways?

etc etc
Every person in Dubai could add to this list.

But the point is that every one of these offenses can, and is, done at 40, 60, 80, 100 or 120k, all below the speed limit and in most cases well below.

Now in all these cases it is argued that speed causes the accident, it doesn't, it is the inappropriate application of speed that causes situations that can lead to accidents coupled with all traits listed above. We have all seen many many accidents that happen in slow traffic.

The inevitable conclusion of saying that speed is all that kills, is that in order to have no accidents you, and everyone else, has to be stationary.

Since this is clearly nonsense we have to look at how we can remove the other traits which would leave us with considerate,safe drivers that could make good use of one of the best road systems in the world, instead of turning them into the carnage we see today.

Now I have said it before and at the risk of boring you, will say it again, we need police patrols on the road to police the traffic, not just answer the call of the inevitable results of lawlessness.

Until every driver in this country fears that they could be pulled to the side of the road by a marked or unmarked cop car we will not even get close to making the roads safe, or rather safer since I am at least a realist, unlike young Bob.

Off for a week now.

Shaking all over

2005-11-27T18:33:00.000+04:00

Well our bit of excitement and in some cases hysteria for the week today, as a reasonably strong quake struck just off the coast of Iran.

The Weasel office got quite a rocking with most people just looking around wondering what the hell was going on, you can see why people often never seen to get under cover or out of buidings, it is more confusing in the early stages than scarey.

After weeks of the local papers stating that there will never be earthquakes in the UAE it comes as a reminder that buildings here have to be built to the second highest earthquake protection for a reason.

Another possibility however does not seem to be getting much attention, if this quake had been further offshore surely there is a possibility of a tsunami?
Now I know that the T things are created by specific plate action, usually an upshift under water, and to be honest I have no idea what type of fault lies off Iran, all this will com to light eventually, however one place I wouldn't want to be when the wave comes is a low lying artificial island offshore. Just a thought

On the road

2005-11-26T21:44:00.000+04:00

One possible way of controlling traffic numbers and freeing up roads (presumably for land cruisers) is being explored in Kuwait and creating a stir in the UAE.
And this brilliant plan?

Banning all low paid expats from driving and restricting licenses to those with degrees.

Couple of obvious flaws, who is going to do the driving jobs? I doubt any company in the UAE wants to pay more than 5k the qualification level.
Drivers with degrees, possible but not really a viable option.

See while the ancient Sunnymen with the wrecks are a pain in the ass they, in the end, are far less dangerous than the idiot in the land cruiser doing 225 on the hard shoulder or weaving all through traffic flashing lights as if that will ward off the inevitable crash.

Lane discipline is vital and to be honest unheard of here and the sooner people realise that an indicator is not a force field the better. And as for the tossers who feel that driving with fog lamps front and rear is making their piece of crap look cool, well guess what? It doesn't.

But you cannot control this type of driving without effective police patrols on the roads, and to be effective it has to be visible and people have to be seen to be pulled over, all people, that of course is where the problems lie.

On a more positive front my personal vendetta against taxi drivers who pull out in front of me is running at Weasel 3 (2.5 really but who is counting) Taxis 0.5 .

Why taxis, well much as I feel sorry for some their driving really is totally crap and I have twice had huge skidding stops to avoid a major accident. They are identifiable and apparently the company do take complaints seriously, it is a small step but since there is so little effective policing on our roads it is a start.

So Mr Taxi driver next time you try to kill the Weasel expect a phone call

Well the time has arrived to leave (be thrown out of) our quiet little existence in sunny Jumeriah and set off into the sand to set up in The Arabian Desert, sorry Ranches.

This means I will be offline for a couple of weeks, possibly more since there are a couple of important dates coming up.

Rugby - gratuitous beer drinking while pretending to watch sport, spending an entire day in the sun while slowly getting wasted before queuing for hours for a taxi (who upon recognising the Weasel drives off into the sunset).

A1 GP - gratuitous beer drinking while pretending to watch sport, spending an entire day in the sun while slowly getting wasted before queuing for hours for a taxi (who upon recognising the Weasel drives off into the sunset) .

It's just one thing after another .

At least national day gives the Weasel a day of recovery this Saturday, so happy national day to one and all.

BRB

Air show mayhem

2005-11-20T20:01:00.000+04:00

Sometimes Dubai does it so well, but at the last moment manages to totally screw up and leave people thinking the place is a shambles.

Take today, a great airshow, well attended with a good cross section of totally the right kind of people , I must have heard every language on earth at some time or other.

The displays were good, even the boring interior stuff was good, the aircraft were much more accessible than the big shows in Europe and the US .

At the end of the day, in fact just after a great show from the A380, the weasel started to wander home and this is where all the effort fell totally off the rails.

The idea is good, remove the delegates from the crush outside the show to a manageable space near the end of the runway by bus, where fleets of taxis will be waiting.

It all works up to the taxi bit, not only were the not fleets waiting, there weren't any waiting and only 1 every 2 or 3 mins coming in.

Busses arrived every minute bringing people in and nobody left, at one stage the queue must have been 5 or 600 yards long and 3-4 deep, do the maths that is well over a thousand delegates of an industry that Dubai in some ways depends on, left standing in a car park near Mirdiff.

I stood in the queue for 1 hour 40 mins, it was just as long when I left as when I arrived.

When we got in the cab we asked the guy what happened?

It turns out none of the cabs knew where to go, he had been trying to find the place almost as long as I had been standing in the queue.

So several thousands of delegates have now left wondering if this place will ever be able to work out it's arse from it's elbow.

Quel surprise

Big Bertha

2005-11-19T19:55:00.000+04:00

Flypast of the A380 today all shot from the JBH hotel and the beach.
It really is a magnificent aircraft and they do seem to have managed to get it quiet(ish) which should be a bonus for those living in Mirdiff

Couple of links

Quicktime file(4mb)

Windows file (7mb)

Hope to get the footage shot from the chase plane tomorrow

Street Style

2005-11-11T21:35:00.000+04:00

Not sure what is in the offing but the Gulf news has run strange article on the street prostitution scene in Dubai.

This is one of the things that people find strangest about Dubai, most westerners find it bizarre that such a highly visible trade is carried out in broad daylight.
And it is blatant, this pic was taken from the window of the old Weasel Apt, there are 6 girls working this street at 3pm.

Now I have often thought that a little street life was a sign of a growing up city but several years of living in East Berlin by the sea (Golden sands area) showed that it can be a total pain.

But what the article fails to mention is that it isn't so much the girls that are the issue but the creepy customers who kerb crawl 24 hours a day harassing any woman foolish enough to be on the streets.

In this male dominated city there probably is a case for allowing some pros to work but they seriously should take them off the streets especially in residential areas.

Surely it can't be that hard, a couple of plain clothes cop cars, you could use white landcruisers with blacked windows (the most common crawling car) , would clear this lot in a day but for years this does not appear to have been a priority.

Out of house and home

2005-11-10T10:08:00.000+04:00

The Weasel is about to be homeless and in a frantic search for a den has rashly decided that buying is the least evil of the accommodation rips that is modern Dubai.
As reported by Secret Dubai this week this is a high risk strategy but to be honest it does appear to be a the best of a bad lot.

This process has brought him into contact with that most slippery species the Dubai Estate agent, these fellow weasels vary from bored Jumeriah Janes, ambitious ISC women, professionals bussed in from the UK and Australia and total chancers running their entire business from a clipboard and a Nissan sunny.

What all have in common is a total lack of any control or licensing, not even a voluntarily code. They are all driving their Cayans and Range Rovers but delivering nothing in the way of service and less than zero confidence.

The most unsettling fact is that none of them have is any idea whether the house they are selling is a set price or even actually for sale. Since all valuations are paid by buyers they frankly don't care that the house is in fact not for sale and the owner just wanted a free valuation.

Owners who are totally in this for the speculation are blatantly hiking prices the moment they sniff a possible sale ably assisted by the estate weasels who despite being paid by the buyer actually work for the seller.

Add to this the Nakeel Emarr transfers along with valuations that claim the houses are grossly overpriced and none of it inspires confidence.

But what is the alternative, rent that has risen by 150 % in 2 years and shows no sign of stopping, landlords that can evict any time they want and house maintenance that is patchy or none existent.

We really are caught between a rock and a hard place in this little boom town on the edge of the desert.

Play for the day. Stop Thief

2005-11-07T18:00:00.000+04:00

This is a pet hate, I will relate the latest example but to be honest these conversations occur fairly regularly, are all pretty similar and have a degree of inevitability about them.

Scene 1

It is a busy morning in the City Centre shopping metropolis, around the first of the month.

We see a small furry creature (for tis he, the Desert Weasel) scampering along carrying the fruits of his morning's labours. A number of brightly coloured, branded bags are in one hand, in the other he clutches a still smoldering gold card.

Scene 2

Our hero approaches another store where stands a lonesome security guard.

The Weasel: [walking past]
Lovely day

Security guard:
Bag

The Weasel: [stops and turns]
Eh?

Security guard:
Bag bag you no go with bag

The Weasel:
Why?

Security guard:
Policy

The Weasel:
So let's get this straight, you see me here I clearly want to spend money, but you want to stop me, make me stand in a queue and take all my valuable purchases off me just so I can go into the store, ......Because?.......because?

Security guard:[much head shaking]
Policy security policy

The Weasel:
Let me help you here.......Because........You think that if you let me in I will stuff half your crappy store into my Prada bags and leg it without paying.... right?

In other words you are calling me a thief?

Security guard:
No Sir

The Weasel:
Well that's fine then, I'm glad we settled that [walks on] I will now enjoy your fine store

Security guard:[chasing and grabbing bags]
Bag, bag, no bag

[A tussle ensues, other guards approach]

scene 3

The outside of the store, we see the Weasel being manhandled out into the mall by two security guards

The Weasel:
Bast**ds!!!!!!!! Get your bloody hand's off me [the guards drop him]

[he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small book, we see it is full of shop names, he writes the store's details in]

See this? You're in trouble now, I'm never coming to your crappy store again and neither are my friends...

[Shuffles away no longer scampering while the guards laugh.]

the end

To be honest I first came across this policy in Australia in the early eighties, I couldn't believe it then and it still hasn't got any more palatable. Too many people don't think or don't care about the insinuation the store makes each time they force you to queue up and hand over your bags.

Apart from anything else calling your most likely to buy customers thieves is hardly likely to ingratiate them to you.

Incidentally it didn't work there then and doesn't work here now, the losses from CC and other malls are still substantial and the gangs that work the stores have always taken more than the odd opportunity thief with a store bag.

The good news however is that with the explosion of retail in Dubai this, and other service faux pas, will have to change. With more stores chasing a more sophisticated and less tolerant market, little things, like not insulting your customers will come to matter.

Off to the local Choitrams, about the only store not on the list.
DW

Bar Review 3

2005-11-04T10:39:00.000+04:00

Buddha Bar in the Grosvenor hotel at the Marina.
Seriously upmarket establishment this, beautifully decorated and achingly fashionable, even early on the place was packed with some fantastic, 2 figure numberplated, ironware parked outside.

Service a little snooty but ok and prices not too ridiculous, clientele was interesting with a much higher percentage of local chaps and chapesses than normal.

Drinks were fine and we didn't eat but the food looked great. However, on the downside, all this effort was spoiled by truly atrocious music. The Weasel had waited for Eid to try the place simply to make sure it was seen at its best, and music is one of the USPs for all Buddha bars.
So why was he subjected to dirge after dirge that had him crying into his G&T and eventually drove him from the place, seriously one of the worst sets ever heard.

It probably needs a second try to see if this was a one off but a course of prozac may be a sensible precaution before visiting again.

Petrol pump attendants

2005-11-03T14:49:00.000+04:00

In an amazing glimpse into employee relations in the city of Dubai, Emarat one of the biggest gas station chains openly admits to strip searching employees to make sure they are not keeping any tips.

With a truly spectacular display of a total lack of understanding of even basic PR, the spokesman said,

" 'Body search is part of the procedure and we will continue to do it. However, a supervisor should ask the staff to take off all his clothes only if he is sure that the staff is guilty' said Abdulla Al Noman, the retail sales operations manager at Emarat"

So that makes them judge, jury and stripper all in one, wonder what the qualifications are for that cushy little number?

I have no idea what the attendants wages are but I doubt it will be more than a thousand dhs a month so I regularly tip for good service, cheerful demeanor, windscreen cleaning and even for not spilling gas all over the weasel mobile (unfortunately a regular occurrence).

Why not? It spreads a little wealth and helps ensure better service next time.

"It's to protect the customer" say Emarat, well I fail to see how that washes myself, all the pumps are marked and we can all see what the figures are.

Interestingly no-one is saying what happens to the tips that are found or given, are they hidden by the staff or confiscated by the company? Anyone know?

Either way in a small act of defiance I will be boycotting the Emarat chain and watching to see what new job the spokesman ends up with.

Ramadan is over

2005-11-03T14:13:00.000+04:00

Well I survived, must have seen 20 accidents or the results of accidents plus some of the worst driving in the world but both car and owner made it through. Hopefully work will settle now as well with people being contactable and less temperamental.

Today's little rant is on parking, or rather the total lack of it in this town.

Now in Dubai there is not really a choice of transport. While taxis are ok they quickly get expensive and one glance at the busses will convince most people to reach for the car keys. Cars are it for all practical purposes and one of the rules of a society that moves by car is that it has to park at both ends of the journey.

However parking spaces are expensive and with a building code that is very loose when it comes to parking provision we are left with some horrendous situations that are steadily getting worse.
While the railway may help eventually by then the situation will have descended into chaos.

One prime example is Internet/media city with cars parked on every square foot of ground and only paid valet parking available for visiting clients. What were they (DIC DMC) thinking, how did they expect people to get to work, teleporting? Considering the rents and charges the place has I'm surprised there hasn't been an uprising against the DMC goons.

And next in a spectacular series of parking cockups will be the Jumeriah beach reservation, 75000 occupants - 35000 spaces expect every road for miles around to be jammed with parked cars. Every household in Dubai that can afford a JBR flat will have 2 cars a fact that even Dubai builders are very well aware of, so that will be down to greed and a lack of accountability again then, sometimes feels that this is pretty much the story of the city .

Off to the pub for an afternoon pint, why? Because I can

Cheers DW

Trick or treatment?

2005-11-01T18:41:00.000+04:00

Now personally I prefer my spirits in a glass but in a bizarre story in Emirates Today it seems that some UAE practitioners are seriously treating the mentally ill by casting out demons.
Now call me a radical modernist but didn't this "treatment" go out with the middle ages?

Now I agree that the western way of treating the mentally ill is not always successful but it is at least generally based in scientific understanding at the time, and surely has a better chance than blaming imaginary fiends.

It is very easy to look at Dubai and see a first world city, the truth is that very close to the surface is a tribal society still believing and practicing the old ways......I wonder how this will sit with healthcare city?

Hippy chic

2005-10-30T19:58:00.000+04:00

So we live in the hippest town on earth, yeah right.......Fox news, of all places seems to be the originator of this bizarre article with the Gulf news picking it up today.

So what is a hip town? Depends on who you are I guess, but I'm afraid the fact that wacko Jacko even visited this place relegates it to the seriously sad, not hip. And because some footballers were given a good investment opportunity on the Palm projects hardly makes it a stylish fashionable hip place, probably the opposite.

In fact who even calls a place hip now? Austin Powers?

Anyway back to the nonsense.

Jacko and Rod Stewart have bought on the world, really? So how come when you walk past the place there is barely a single worker or ship working on the place, it looks like a ghost town out there, hardly fashionable even if we thought two over the hill singers were the epitome of hip.

Donald trump? WTF beats me, that one.

"Attracting major celebrities is an obvious boon to any destination seeking tourism dollars and cachet, but the sheikh's idea of turning an oppressively hot town caught between the desert sands and the Arabian Sea into a cosmopolitan city to attract the likes of the Beckhams was an idea that was far from obvious. It was an idea born of desperation."

Must be bloody desperate to believe that giving a house to a couple with a combined IQ of 14 is a basis for future growth.

Hip towns don't have to "attract" celebs, that is why they are hip, the celebs and the rest of us are dying to go there, we pay to go there not the other way round.

I could go on ripping this piece apart but hey.

Now the Weasel loves luxury, and given unlimited cash would live in fashionable clubs and spend the season in Courchevel, British Virgin islands, the Hamptons, Aspen, Mallorca etc but Dubai?
Na this place really needs to market itself as it really is....Vegas.

In another bizarre twist we have had this article circulated at work by the boss presumably in an attempt to convince us that despite our rapidly devaluing wage packets we really should be grateful as we live in the hippest city on earth. Well hip don't buy accommodation or pay for the massive inflation that this town is in the grip of.

Latest casualty is ciggies. Now since the Weasel only smokes in bars and cars (occasionally) this is not a huge issue but what is interesting is that the rise is 33%. Yet another stat that contributes to our miniscule official inflation rate and massive real one.

My kind of job

2005-10-28T11:00:00.000+04:00

Glorious little piece in 7 days about a Japanese "artist" paid to get pissed and fall off a beam.

The original report appeared in Ananova and ignoring the blatant inflation of the amount of money paid, it still seems a stunning waste of cash. Now the Weasel likes a bit of art as much as anyone and also the odd beer or three so really this should be right up my alley so to speak.
However I truly can't see how it equals art, maybe I'm a Philistine or maybe the Japanese artist is still laughing at how she got the good citizens of Cardiff to stump up 5 grand for a pissup.

And credit where credit is due, this wasn't a lightweight job, we are talking about 48 bottles here. Now this is serious drinking, especially when you consider her likely size and the fact she is a woman (racist sexist and sizist- but probably true). The Weasel, even when egged on by faithful drinking buddy can rarely manage to polish a crate away and this girl went for two, no wonder she fell off the beam.

"Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness"

2005-10-16T18:15:00.000+04:00

With thanks to Keats there, but as many frustrated air travelers will be only too well aware, fog and Dubai International Airport are not happy bedfellows.

Every year for the last few years there have been major disruptions at DIA in the Autumn and to a lesser extent in the spring.
Now a simplistic rant would simply blame DCA or the airlines and leave it at that, the problem you see is that the instrument landing system, the bits of kit on the ground that help pilots to know where they are as they come into land, is not certified to cat 111, the level required for planes to land in fog.

"That's careless" you say and indeed any international airport worthy of the name is certified to level 111 in order to prevent the very problems that Dubai has every year.

However the rumored facts are not as simple as that, DIA used to have cat 111 certification, but ever since the run up to "Son of Gulf War" in 2003 the system has been playing up, resulting in the downgrading of Dubai - preventing foggy landings and forcing you and I to divert to a God forsaken strip of tarmac somewhere in the desert.

Speculation has it that the US have put into place, possibly in Qatar, communication systems that somehow are interfering with the operations at Dubai, despite consultations and protests it appears that little has changed.

So as we head into the season and if you end up spending the morning at sunny RAK airport, you know who to blame, and for once it probably actually is the Great Satan himself.

Ghazi bites the bullet.

2005-10-13T10:42:00.000+04:00

The Weasel is strangely attracted to countries with a long history of bombings, is it perhaps a flirt with danger or simply a coincidence, who knows?

Either way Lebanon is favorite destination, the combination of scenery, history, beach, skiing and partying (obviously inverse order) is pretty irresistible. Couple that with some of the best looking people on earth and frankly it beats the pants off the rest of the Middle East.

Well it would if they could just stop blowing each other up..

So it is with interest that we see today that Ghazi Kanaan met with an unfortunate accident. As to who pulled the trigger well that's another thing altogether.

Now I'm no Syrian political expert but it always felt to a casual observer that the Hariri bombing might be representative of a movement to oust Syrian supreamo Assad. But it would appear that young Bashar may have inherited some of his father's ruthlessness and Kanaan who so long lived by the bullet ended up dying by it.

There may even be a moral there.

So the weasel will be returning to the snow and maybe to a slightly more stable Lebanon this year.
One of the best ski secrets in the World, here's a little taste

Faraya Mzaar last year.

Playing chicken with bird flu

2005-10-10T23:27:00.000+04:00

News today that the region is woefully ill prepared for a possible outbreak of a more infectious bird flu.
The potential of any outbreak has given the Weasel a few sleepless nights recently, while I doubt that we are in imminent danger of a 1918 style outbreak even a small amount of human to human transmission could practically seize up air travel as countries try to stop the spread, not good news for Dubai.
Risk is high in this part of the world where many people still keep chickens and ornamental birds that possibly could be exposed to the disease being spread by migrating, or in Adu Dhabi, by smuggled birds.
That some greedy bird traders are quite happy to expose the country to risk should not be a surprise I suppose, the souk mentality rarely stretches as far as civic responsibility.

Now hiring

2005-10-08T16:39:00.000+04:00

So according to 7 days, Al Qaeda are hiring internet professionals, well if it's anything like the Weasel's experience they will need all of Osama's luck.
Well for starters, in common with the Weasel's employer, they aren't gonna pay shit, see they want you to do it for the kudos or the greater good, well we all heard that before and it doesn't wash, show us the cash or we walk bad boys.
Plus there is the little disadvantage that if uncle Sam gets hold of prospective employees they are going to have the opportunity to spend a little quality time on the beach in Cuba, orange is so this year.
So who is going to apply? Well every intelligence organisation from mossad to the KGB via the CIA and M15, now I wonder how I can get hold of few of those CVs.

Burglaries

2005-10-04T18:44:00.000+04:00

Burglaries have always been Dubai's dirty secret, all long term residents know that this is much more common than reported. Although the only thing I have lost was a car radio from my garage most of my friends who live in villas have experienced some type of incident with 3 having had the full Monty including one girl who woke to find a guy in her bedroom, another lost his car after the keys were taken while he slept.
Much of this may be drug fuelled and that may be why it is covered up since many nationals have been involved as well as the obvious scapegoats of illegal immigrants.
Now the Weasel has to follow news in the Springs since it is fast becoming one of the few options left he can afford, so it was with interest that he read in 7days of a burglary spree in the springs and Hills.
Interesting though that 7 days printed what all the rumors have been saying, that the guards employed to protect the communities may in fact be responsible. Wonder how much they get paid? Where do they live? What are their working conditions? Answer these questions and you may be getting closer to the reasons behind this spree and where to look for the culprits.

Ramadan traffic is coming

2005-10-02T20:25:00.000+04:00

I know we are not supposed to say this but frankly Ramadan is my least favorite time of year, many reasons (including 7pm opening ;¬) but mostly its the driving.
Dangerous is one way of putting it, carnage another, and it isn't just at iftar but frankly any time after midday.
So today Dubai police have publicised their, doubtless worthy, program to lower the death and injury toll. Unfortunately this will be as successful as last year and the year before that..with the horror that of course we are now still in summer, tempreture wise, making the effects of dehydration on drivers worse.
My first year here I saw a guy in a Mercedes pass out and drive into a concrete lamp post near Um al Quain, he only survived because Stuttgart used to make very strong cars.
Of course the only effective way they could combat the horrific driving (putting police in patrol cars and actually stopping the dangerous idiots ) is not an option that appears to be open to them.
So I will do what we all do and try to stay off the roads as much as possible, won't stop the accidents but hopefully I can avoid being in one.

Sobering report today

2005-10-01T19:26:00.000+04:00

Secret Dubai and some of the others have picked up on a report published today in the Gulf News (though it does not appear to be on the site now) from AP detailing a report commissioned by the Emirates Center for Strategic Studies and Research stating that there is a valid and real Al Qaida threat to the Gulf States and UAE in particular.
In light of today's events on Bali I do again wonder how long it will be before someone takes it into their head to punish us (for being infidels) and Dubai (for allowing us to live Western lives here).
I do feel it is a when not an if to be honest, what to do about it though is a real quandary, I will not live in fear and certainly won't stop going out to pubs and clubs where I have always expected an attack to occur, nor do I want to leave.
The economy would take a nasty dive I have to say, real estate that has helped fuel this crazy boom would probably plummet as the tourists flee, and flee they will, people returned to Bali (eventually) because that island is unique, Dubai at the moment is a good value building site beside some crowded beach and pretty big malls. As the Sinai peninsular hotels in Egypt have discovered, beach hotels are 10 a penny around the world and it is easy to simply avoid the Middle East.
In the longer term they will return but never with the same enthusiasm and always jumpy at every report, I really hope we never have to face this, too much rides on the economy here for all of us.

Not again! Bali

2005-10-01T17:03:00.000+04:00

Bali is one of my favorite places on earth, but it also was the place where one of my good friends was grievously injured and his best friend killed.
It now appears the terrorists are back wreaking their havoc, may they rot in hell, the people of Bali and their western guests do not deserve this nor does it advance their cause (which judging by the trials last year even they don't understand) or religion one iota.
DW

Son of Etisalat

2005-09-29T18:15:00.000+04:00

Wow what a hectic week, the imminent arrival of Ramadan has meant that all parties and events are being rushed through, couple that with Gitex and it has been a mad social week. Really need to be out there house hunting but have struggled to get moving due to over indulgence.
Good news for Etisalat this week with the news that they are not going to face competition on price or to be honest anything else by the look of it
This really pretty much highlights what is wrong with so much of the UAE, I really can't see why they have bothered setting up this other sham company, all it will do is increase their costs since they will have to run two HQs and workforces, since there is no competition and they are both owned by the same people why bother, oh I know it's so they can say its not a monopoly.
They must really think we are stupid. Meanwhile Etisalat gets to export their own form of product over the region in countries not normally known for their open markets, presumably bank rolled by the poor UAE customers with nowhere else to go, the hypocrisy is mind numbing

IT friends in town

2005-09-25T18:24:00.000+04:00

mmm Gitex - hype, sport and taxi horror.

Because of his job title, the Weasel is frequently mistaken for someone that :
a. Has control of huge IT budgets (he doesn't)
b. Has the faintest clue what most of the salesmen are rabbiting about
c. Gives a shit about anything but the free booze he is pouring down his neck at a prestigious rate in the fear of being unmasked.

I mean does anyone in Dubai really believe the fraudulent survey that I completed in a successful attempt to get invited to one of these bashes years ago? It seems they do as I still appear high on many of the invite lists - though the merge of Compaq did remove one particularity rich seam, and this year Sony are so not on my Christmas card list.
My old friends ITP are behind a lot of this I think, flogging off their mail lists but franky it only saves me having to try and blag my way in under my own steam.
The sad thing is of course that most parties are not worth the effort but still the sport of blagging demands that a cursory attendance is mandatory, complete with a regional sales director (compulsory) conversation that guarantees the invite next year, no business is ever done of course (see points above).
Pitiful really but at least I do get to catch up with some old friends from London tonight and until the weather cools a little there really isn't much else to do.
Attendance (probably with hangover) at show tomorrow.

Bar review ll

2005-09-24T17:23:00.000+04:00

Seeking fresh watering holes the Weasel and faithful sidekick descended on The Double Decker Wednesday. A little tough to find at the moment it is under the Murooj Hotel near defense roundabout on ground level, around to the left as you look at the hotel, when the road is finished access will doubtless improve. Look for the old style red telephone box at the door, this is dying for a little Soho decoration but we shall leave that jape for another day.
Now starting life named after a dodgy 1970s children's BBC program is not a promising start, but first impressions are favorable. Big place fitted out as someone's idea of a London boozer but it's as authentic as anywhere is in Dubai, at least it works as good design to do what a pub is supposed to do (serve beer) .
Comfy chairs and sofas on the upstairs deck with the promise of music later after Ramadan. I can see this place really taking off as a post work Weasel den.
Staff are friendly and seem to be drawn from other Rotana properties so are experienced to boot.
Sport is promised music was good and frankly the only downside is the food which requires some serious attention, compared to the excellent pies at the Dubliners the DD offering was pitiful, fix this and I reckon this place is set to be a real pub, its 3am closing time will eat into the Jimmy Dix and Rock bottom crowd, should be interesting.

An audience with Midge Ure

2005-09-23T01:51:00.000+04:00

Now I am one of the most skeptical people when it comes to old time rockers coming through Dubai, we have been skinned so many times mainly because the whole city is so starved for entertainment that that we will fork out for any old crap
BUT
I have to say that Midge Ure at the Wafi rooftop tonight was great, a little warm( hot and humid) but still good. Jeeze the guy is a major comedian as well, lots of fun, well done Wafi, this is a great venue for this type of intimate concert.

Eighties pop group fallen on hard times?

2005-09-20T17:29:00.001+04:00

According to the marvellous Khaleej times it appears that eighties synth and rock group the Gang of Four may have fallen on hard times, and naturally when times are desperate they have resorted to fleecing the gullible citizens of Al Ain, I love the sound effects comment, the Gang of Four are apparently supposed to be on the road this year but I guess that may have to wait for a couple of months.
I mean really, how bloody stupid are these people who fall for this crap, some dodgy geezer muttering in the corner, a bit of incense and these suckers blithly hand over thousands of dollars, to be honest someone that terminally stupid practically deserves to be ripped.

AL AIN — Police have busted a gang of four who preyed on gullible persons by claiming to double their money using supernatural powers. A sum of $8,100 collected from the victims was recovered from them. A court has remanded them to two months in jail to be followed by deportation.
An official requesting anonymity told Khaleej Times that the gang comprised two Sudanese and two Omani nationals. "The planner and the gang's head is Rabi'y Sideeg Nour, 49-year old Sudanese," he said.
On a tip-off that these swindlers operated from house number 10 located in Al Jimi area at Al Ain City, a police detective and an undercover agent checked out the den. The place was raided and gang members were nabbed there.
Investigations revealed that Rabi'y used to call the victims into a room where incense sticks were burnt to create an eerie atmosphere and pretend that he contacts demons, jinns and other souls. Another associate slipped into a hideout from where he uttered weird sounds and words to give an impression that spirits were speaking.
The official appealed to locals and expatriates to beware of such quacks who exploited the naive in the garb of giving them a religious experience.

Don't mention Afghanistan, I did once but I think I got away with it

2005-09-20T17:20:00.000+04:00

Priceless little ditty from the Khaleej times today, they are desperate not to mention Afghanistan throughout the article (why? it's bleeding obvious where they are talking about) but then right at the end when they were in the clear, they drop the name, hilarious.

ABU DHABI — The United Nations (UN) has warned that Gulf states ran the risk of becoming a drug hub — transit point or final destination — because a neighbouring Asian country currently accounts for 75 per cent of the world's total opium produce.

An official of the Interior Ministry said a statistical report released recently by the UN disclosed this alarming fact, that the Gulf countries were at high risk of becoming the hub for drug trafficking despite the strenuous efforts of the governments of the member states of the Gulf Cooperation Council to foil attempts to smuggle drugs into their countries from that Asian country.

The official said last month authorities in Kuwait arrested an Asian drug trafficker who was trying to smuggle into the country 33kg of pure cocaine, which he had brought from Afghanistan via Pakistan, adding that Kuwait was fast becoming one of the favoured destinations of drug-smugglers to peddle their shipments of narcotic drugs. The smuggler had cleverly concealed the heroin in a hand-woven carpet by making holes in it to smuggle the drug into the country but couldn't escape the eagle eyes of the Kuwaiti authorities.

Bar review 1

2005-09-18T18:53:00.000+04:00

Desert Weasels, in their natural environment are drawn regularly to watering holes, where they can be observed frolicking with others of their kind.
Unlike the natural environment in Dubai which is fast vanishing, we are currently enjoying a bit of a boom in Weasel habitat, not only that but the slightly cooler weather brings with it the prospect of supping outdoors.
Last night was the newly opened upstairs deck of Bussola at Mina Seyahi, this is a great venue for chilling out, with comfy seats and fantastic views, watch the sunset then boogie into the night or join the Weasel at the bar. A different vibe from Barasti, a bit classier and less kid infested, quality spot I will be returning.
Plus points - great views comfy seats, decent pizza reasonable bar service
Negs not many really though the view towards the land side is horrific at the moment and there is the odd interruption from pile drivers and other heavy building, could get a bit dusty in the right wind as well I reckon.

Party credit

2005-09-15T08:50:00.000+04:00

Now I'm not always a huge fan of ITP but have to congratulate them on kicking off the party season Wednesday night with the Campaign bash.
As a shameless ligger who will happily attend the opening of an envelope, the Weasel is easily impressed and to be honest any free booze party always starts with a major advantage, but this was well done and a good time was had by all.

Landlords II

2005-09-13T17:34:00.000+04:00

Well we have reviewed our options re the eviction notice and to be honest there aren't many.
A stiff letter to the landlord has at least given us till End Nov to move and fantastically produced an offer of compensation for the breaking of the contract, the best i could hope for in the circumstances.
Obviously this is better than nothing and allows us to get somewhere new by Chrimbo, we will miss this place which is lovely, but hey that appears to be the price most long term expats in Dubai are going to have to get used to paying.
So to house hunting and the endless rounds of crooks masquerading as agents as well as the far more reliable mates telegraph that has always come through so far.
So if anyone knows of a big 2 or 3 bed place going post it in comments, unusal and old is all good anywhere South of Defence roundabout. Long shot I know and to be honest am almost resigned to the Springs or similar, just no idea what to do with a full 3 bed house full of furniture.
Buggers, I'm off for a beer too bloody depressing to think about.
Cheers
DW

Well done England

2005-09-13T17:02:00.000+04:00

That's it really, well done a great summer of sport, Australia tough as ever will doubtless go away, lick their wounds, then come back and destroy us, better make the best of it while it lasts.

Ban and white

2005-09-12T20:32:00.000+04:00

Am I the only one who has been totally confused by all this "will they or won't they , ban my baby" nonsense.
ok first there were to be no bans, now this I thought was a pretty far reaching and forward thinking step, wow, this would really change the market and might even allow people to crawl out of the inflation induced poverty many are heading into.
It was of course a step much too far and several days of clarification left all totally bemused as to the actual intention. Today though the Gnews carried an article stating that actually nothing had changed in reality, there is no ban but also of course there is no transfer or new visa without ex employers say for 6 months.
Back to square one then, I do feel that this ban or lack of visa have only one effect, that is to keep people in jobs they do not want to do, surely even economics 101 says this cannot lead to higher productivity. A country full of badly treated, underpaid workers who cannot leave their jobs is not a recipe for world success, it leads inevitably to quality and reliability issues at all stages of production eventually costing companies money and reputation, not saving it.
DW

Suck up campaign

2005-09-11T20:31:00.000+04:00

Some extraordinary biased journalism from Campaign this week extolling Media City in no less than 3 articles and mentioning the forthcoming hotel opening in every one, a couple of interviews claiming that Media City is totally responsible for all media in the region and saying that the recent massive rises in rents and charges are a good thing since they will put the "cowboy magazines" out of business.
Now a more skeptical man would perhaps question their motives here, the hotel and outlet plugging is a time honored journalist's ploy to be able to run up a decent bar tab without having to pay, or worse, risking being thrown out on their ears, fair enough I guess.
But the rest of the sycophantic copy could surely have more to do with their own rent rise (or possibly lack of ..) perhaps? And of course a lack of competition for their parent publishing group ITP as the smaller players are pushed out by rent extortion wouldn't do them much harm either.
Cynical moi?
DW

Pugh Pugh Barley Mcgrew

2005-09-10T20:02:00.000+04:00

Rather a spectacular little blaze at the oasis centre up the road ended with the entire building being gutted, it's funny how according to the Gulf news or any of the papers the fire brigade are always on scene in a few minutes but seem to spectacularly fail to control these big fires.
Now you could draw a couple of conclusions here, either they are really crap or perhaps the few minutes might be a slight exaggeration, who knows.
I've seen a couple of fires here and in both cases the response was very slow though that could have been caused by the rubber neckers blocking the roads, the brigade seem to have quite a bit of kit and once they got there it was bit chaotic but eventually the fire was out, training and a better call out system might work, perhaps the new 999 system will help.
The worry is that the population here is growing fast and the centers of population are moving, a big fire in the Marina area could really stretch the civil defense and could get very nasty especially if the roads got backed up with sightseers.

Driving without looking

2005-09-07T17:43:00.000+04:00

Frankly I'm speechless, 7days today carries the tale of a woman who has twice reversed out of her garage into a ditch, now I know it is a pisser when the municipality start digging outside your place, last year I had to park at the end of our road for 5 months while they painstakingly laid bricks in the road outside, but please, once I can understand - twice??
Look there are these plastic and glass things right beside you, funnily enough you can see backwards with them, great eh?
Come to think of it very few people in Dubai have any idea what mirrors are for, if they can even see them through the megablack tint, so perhaps it isn't that surprising after all.
DW

SKaTerZ

2005-09-06T19:07:00.000+04:00

So the Dubai plod are donning in-line skates to catch crims, am I the only one that sees flaws in this brilliant strategy?
Have you ever bladed up stairs, across grass or much more likely (in Dubai) through sand.........?
The back streets in Dubai are a maze of rough pavements, carts and barrows, open drains and people....surrounded by sand, the fleeing offenders need only make it to the nearest patch of sand in order to stroll off into the sunset, while plod frantically removes his blades then follows in his socks. I wish them luck.
DW

Early warning?

2005-09-06T18:46:00.000+04:00

Bloomberg this week published an interesting article wondering whether the boom in Dubai is overstretching itself.
The article has many factual errors, (Sheikh Mo as ruler, Emirates flying to Tokyo etc) but to be honest I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment. The cost of living is quoted as rising by 10% but that is an overall figure, I believe that the reality is higher still than that, with the possibility of sales tax on the way this city could be pricing itself out of the market.
One predictions is of falling incomes from rental property, now that I do want to see.
DW

Nakheel appeal directly to 80% of UAE population

2005-09-04T20:29:00.000+04:00

Nakheel are rapidly becoming my favorite company, not because I want to buy one of their palm ghettos but purely for the entertainment value.

Today's Gulf news carries the story of the impending launch of their latest fantastically named project, Tiffany Towers
All fine and well but did they not perhaps catch the smirks at the press conference when the BIG announcement was made? Were there any questions relating to volumes and symmetry of design?
No idea who came up with the name but I salute him (and I bet it was a him) anyway.
There are two very obvious reasons not to name this project Tiffany Towers
A simple google search would have sufficed (try it) but they have clearly decided to go ahead and launch the project without bothering, or perhaps they're secretly planning to invite the young lady in question to open the building?
Hilarious, I almost want to live there, imagine giving out your address, "yeah 55d, Tiffany Towers mate".....too funny.
DW

New Orleans

2005-09-03T10:04:00.000+04:00

Wow, never has the old adage that we are only 48hrs from anarchy been more succinctly demonstrated. Crazy stuff and completely bizarre that the most powerful country on earth is shown to have such feet of clay. Hopefully they are now getting things moving to get immediate aid on but I doubt they have a clue what to do in the long term for all those folks with no shelter or jobs etc.
In some ways I have to think that the Tsunami showed places like Indonesia were almost better equipped to cope with the destruction of all the modern technology. If you have everything removed from a low base you don't have far to fall, but the West even in the poorest areas is a society used to getting what it needs on tap and has lost the ability to live without it.